Comments on: Whose last name do your kids have?

By: mary

mary — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 21:55:43 +0000

I am a single mom wth 2 kids from the same man. We are not together and I have thought of hyphenating MY name, not changing theirs, so that my last name files with theirs on all documents and in school. I would put their last name, hyphen my last name. I’m adopted, so my last name is not an option for them as I want their family line continued. My only concern is confusing all of my records as my first and primary last name would be different-hyphenated with my current last name. By reversing this, I wouldnt file with my kids, and it would look like I married their dad.

I’d love any feedback.

By: Kynisha

Kynisha — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:43:44 +0000

My kids have both of our last names. I wasn’t married when I had my first child so I made it a rule. NO RING NO ONE LAST NAME (Smartest decision I made). I’m now a single mom of 2 and they go by my last name except at the doctors. I also decided that when they grow-up it’s their decision if they want to go by his or my last name. Maybe even both, but they will always legally have both of ours. Their father and I feel comfortable and satisfied that we don’t feel left out. I’m even thinking of doing the same thing if I ever get married and have a child with my husband to legally have both our last names and just go by my husbands.

By: Honoree Corder

Honoree Corder — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:34:57 +0000

I kept my ex’s last name when I divorced so my daughter and I would have the same name. When I remarried, my traditional Southern husband wanted me to have his last name, and my daughter wanted me to have the same last name as her. So, to make everyone happy, I kept my “professional” name my ex’s and my personal last name my new husband. Three years later, when my daughter was old enough to understand, I changed everything to my new husband’s last name. I think you just do what you feel is right at the time, and you can always make changes later to suit the situation.

By: Song-hee

Song-hee — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:02:30 +0000

My daughter has my last name. My now fiance and I relationship status was up in the air when I found out I was pregnant. To top it off he was going through a divorce and going through counseling with his older children to help cope with the divorce, so to make things easier I gave my daughter my name. I clearly stated when I marry her name will change then until then if I’m going to be a single parent my daughter will match my identity.

Even though things worked out for us and we been together for the past 4 yrs I don’t regret giving my daughter my last name, it was easier for everyone involved and changing our names will mean so much more after we are married.

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:12:07 +0000

@Heather: What a great idea, we love it, re: “we are going to court to legally change BOTH of our names to a new last name.”

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 17:08:11 +0000

I have been married for almost two years, and we’re starting to think about having a kid. We had been on the fence about changing names (My husband has never met his biological father, and has had several last names due to his mother’s divorces and remarriages. He now has the last name of his adoptive father – i.e. its complicated). Anyway, once we started talking about reproducing we felt it was important for all of us to have the same last name – but he didn’t really want that name to be his adoptive fathers).

All that is to say – at the end of this month we will be going to court to legally change BOTH of our names to a new last name (It appears historically on both sides of our families as a middle or first name). That way, we will have created our own family independently, and shed some of the negativity).

By: HaloBaby

HaloBaby — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:32:09 +0000

Hi Ladies,

I was married when I had my twins 4 years ago but divorced shortly after they were born. The father… is a weekend only father and only when it’s convenient for him but technically we have “shared” custody whatever that means to him. Anyhow, I don’t want to have his last name. Aside from not wanting to be associated with him or his family, my father also died recently and I would like to claim my maiden name again…. Also, my married name is a common Hispanic last name and although my daughters have his last name – which is fine, I don’t want it. I’m multi-racial (not part Hispanic though) and everyone and their mother thinks I am b/c of the name (maybe the look too). I’m just ready to identify with my maiden name again!

Anyhow, I have thought about what rights exist for a parent to change a child’s last name and I wanted to know…

1) Don’t you have to have written consent or take the ex to the courts to get the name changed “for the children”

2) For those of you with different last names from your children, did it pose any problems for you regarding school, etc???

By: Dr. Leah

Dr. Leah — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:56:44 +0000

Jamie: Thanks for joining the conversation. Very interesting perspective! My last name is a “challenge”, too . . . hear you!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:56:35 +0000

*Outweighs*

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:44:27 +0000

I have a similar problem, although I do not share the same situation with most of you. I am very happily married, and we are expecting a daughter in a few months. I kept my maiden name. Btw, Canadian Bald Guy, I am a little upset that you implied your ex-wife’s decision to keep her name was somehow indicative of her feelings for you or the quality of your relationship. I deeply love and respect my husband, and he deeply loves and respects me, which is why he would never expect or want me to change the identity I’ve had my whole life. Anyway, I know that she should and will have her father’s last name, but I would like for mine to be a part of her’s as well. However, as someone mentioned above, hyphenation can be a bit clunky and overwhelming. And my last name is definitely not short. I’ve seen how some of you suggest a daughter having the mom’s last name and a son the dad’s, but I don’t think I would want my kids to have different last names and we are only planning on one child anyway. Do you guys think the convenience of sharing a name with my child outways the inconvenience of a very long last name?