Comments on: Is your ex getting remarried?

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 03:31:28 +0000

@Jessica: We’re sending you big hugs. Ah yes, we remember hearing the same advice about getting over our exes: try to exercise, date, knit… Take your time. We’re here for you.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 01:13:28 +0000

I found out a few weeks ago that my ex-husband was getting remarried already even though it’s only been since September that our divorce was finalized. I didn’t want to get one. He felt as if we would never be the same and decided to start over instead of try to fix us. We weren’t married for but 4 years but it was wrought w heartache, trust issues, and abuse (not so much physical but there was a definite incident of that once). I loved him deeply. I can’t let go, try as I might, and now some other woman that I know he will not be happy with (and when I say know I mean know) will be taking my place. He and I have a daughter and she likes her dads fiancee which is admittedly hard to swallow but good. I unfortunately do not like her and for the life of me cannot picture that changing. I am not dating. Can’t really bring myself to expose another being to my pain just yet. I am trying to give myself time to get my feet underneath me. I’m moving out of the house he and I shared. I’m taking care of myself and attempting to figure out how to juggle life without him. And he’s moving on. Full speed ahead. I didn’t even take my maiden name back. Until later on in the day when I found out about his engagement (which I heard about from my daughter) I had our wedding pictures and trinkets on display still. I took them down and put them away. I cried until my eyelids were swollen. I cannot believe how hard this is. Everyone keeps saying to just stop looking back. To reinvent myself. To throw myself into a hobby. My lord how wonderful it would be if knitting could get me through this.

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 04:39:11 +0000

@Lisa2: Thank you for opening up here and sharing your feelings with us. We’re here for you.

By: Lisa2

Lisa2 — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:21:50 +0000

I just found out today that my ex-husband of 6 months is marrying the women who he said was his “FRIEND” for 12 years of our marriage. He told me the whole time that we were married that they were friends and some of our biggest fights were about me knowing that there was more to it. He would yell in my face that I was insecure and crazy for thinking he would cheat on me. In 2001 even called her and told her to come get him or leave him alone. Then I started finding text messages again in 2007 (6 months after we had a big wedding vow renewal for our 10 year anniversary…we bascially had a WEDDING). Once again I heard “we are friends”, but he refused to give me her number and ask her to leave him alone.

I could not take the wondering and we separated last January. He moved in with his parents and stayed there until May and moved in with HER. He told me that it was just for convenience and he would be moving out soon. Once again, they both laughed at me and said “we are just friends”. He also said that she would NEVER be around our three kids. However, he forced them to have “family” time with her every time that they went. My two oldest (13 and 10) don’t want to be around him, because he is very mean to them. The youngest(7) just wants his love and will put up with anything. Now they all want to go to counseling because of his behavior (he was diagnosed as bi-polar in 2008). Nevertheless, they were in contact with each other for 10 years of our marriage and I feel like an idiot for wasting my time. She was 21 years old when they met. He and I were married with two kids when I found out about this YOUNG marriage breaker.

I am so mad and depressed. It isn’t fair that I get to sit here raising 3 kids alone while he lives 3 miles from me having the time of his life. He said that he plans on starting a new family with her! There is no way on EARTH that I will EVER try to do this again. I couldn’t love any man in this world that would possibly make me want to go through this again. He put me through HELL for the nearly 14 years that we were married. I tried so hard and this is what I get in the end.

I would be happy for him if it were ANYBODY but her. But I feel that she waited me out and get what she came for 13 years ago and this is what he wanted all along….

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 05:25:00 +0000

@Helpless: We hear the pain that you’re in, and we are right here for you. Please know that time does heal. We get it.

By: Helpless

Helpless — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 04:18:56 +0000

I was with my ex for 6 years we have two amazing kids and a rather good relationship. He is a very big part of our lives and I still love him very much. We have been split up for five years and after this much time I would have figured these feelings would have faded. We’ve talked about getting back together numerous times. I always felt like we would when the timing was right. He has had a relationship with a girl for the last year, I never thought it was serious due to the fact that she is so young 21, and the fact that he always down played their relationship. Even now that they are engaged he still tells me things like “I know we would have worked if we were only older”or “that he’s buying a house that he can financially take care of “in case” things don’t work.” There recent engagement hurt more then I ever anticipated, I’m not by any means over him or us. I know I need to let it go, but getting there is the hard part.

By: mom2two

mom2two — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 19:24:09 +0000

I just heard the news from my ex. He is marrying a girl he dated for 4 months last year- then broke up with her- because he was still in love with me.
after 5 months of trying to convince me to come back- he wrote me a long email telling me how much he will always love me. 10 days later- he told me he was getting married. the two had only been talking again for those 10 days.
she seems like a nice girl- and has on child. my kids like her- but it’s just too soon- and he is only doing this because he is lonley and needs help with the house and kids. I am jealous that some one is taking my place- in a house and bed that used to be mine as well. Im envious that he could be a family with someone else- when he would’nt do it with me. but he asked me to come back for many months- and I said no. so I know I need to move on. I hope the pain in my chest subsides and that I can stop crying myself to sleep some day soon. the pain is greater than I ever thought it would be.

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 22:03:26 +0000

Julia: We appreciate hearing your story, and we know it must be painful to hold on your ex’s secret. Please keep in touch with us.

By: Julia

Julia — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 21:57:44 +0000

My ex remarried shortly after after our divorce was final and not even a year after our separation. He married the OW. He did not inform me of the marriage and in fact our children do not know. As he lives out of state, he has been able to keep his relationship with her a secret and only recently told the children he is living with his girlfriend. I don’t even know if they are aware that she has children who are now living with him. I think the whole situation is a ticking time bomb that’s going to explode and unfortunately the children will be the ones hurt the most.

His take on it is that everyone is going to get along and if they don’t…..

By: Jamie Riehl

Jamie Riehl — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:03:12 +0000

I would have to agree that we should not have to know in advance that our ex is getting remarried. We are living separate lives and we don’t need each others permission or blessing to move on with our lives. I believe that the children need to be sat down and talked to about it and they should also have the reassurance that their parent (mom or dad) is not being replaced by the step parent. Children need to come first in all aspects. If my ex ever remarries, I will wish him the best and I would hope that he would do the same for me.