Comments on: When a [maybe] choice mom worries about dating

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 06:03:09 +0000

Welcome @Leslie, and than you for the kind words. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

By: Leslie Knowles

Leslie Knowles — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 01:23:50 +0000

Hello! What a lovely website. I chose DI to create an absolutely fabulous daughter and 4-1/2 years later still thank (fill in with your favorite higher power) every day that this option was available to me. Welcoming her into the world was the best way to start my ‘Fabulous 40s’ decade. Oh! Is the 40+ singlw parent by choice a new subcategory? Will return to this site on a regular basis. Thank you.

By: pippa

pippa — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:19:29 +0000

Why not just say i have daughter or a son that i had on my own. It defuses the need to run ,because of the fear of dealing with an ex.Knowing there is no ex to play second fiddle to wanting to parent *if* things get serious.

By: Denise

Denise — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:10:13 +0000

Well, as a DI mom I have experience with this. I have an almost 2 year old daughter and I am not seriously dating but I have chatted to guys about this (and other) topic(s).

Personally, I am a very open person. That is my nature and that is my personality. It is not the first thing that I talk about, but when they ask about the father I am certainly not afraid to tell them the truth. I love my daughter with all my heart and soul and I am not ashamed of the way that she was conceived. Is it a bit unique and unconventional? Absolutely. But please give me the name of a family in this world who is not at least a bit unique and unconventional? lol. And if they are completely “normal”, I am sorry, but they would be as boring as hell!!

I feel that it is up to your comfort level. If you are comfortable and want to share this on the first date – go for it. If not, wait until a few dates have passed. There are no “rules” to these things.

Honestly, I would just say GO FOT IT!! You will never regret having a child. It is the most amazing and wonderful blessing ever. I did not say challenge-free (lol) but even with the challenges, it is still the most amazing and wonderful blessing ever.

No matter what you do or say, someone, somewhere will judge you for it. I say – to hell with them. If they are not paying my rent, then as far as I am concerned, they can keep their judgments to themselves.

Good luck!!!

By: Morgan

Morgan — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:20:23 +0000

I think the real question for this DI mom-to-be is “will I be forever stigmatized and rejected by men as a DI mom?”

I plan on DI-ing it for my 2nd baby, and I don’t see the problem. It’s the route that appeals to me most. I’ve come to see relationships as falling into 2 main categories: the forever ones (parent-child) and the temporary ones (romantic), and I don’t think they mix well.

Shrug off the fear of being stigmatized. Do you REALLY give a damn if some people automatically will think you did it because you’re desperate or some such thing?! Sure some people will, but are they really the kind you want to hang out with in the first place? Examine your true motives, take the path that makes most sense to you, and have confidence in it! Good luck!

By: Cat

Cat — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:38:14 +0000

For me it’s kind of led by the guy (haven’t been on many dates lately, but have chatted online with some guys when it’s come up). They need to know up front that you have a kid, but the whys and hows don’t usually come up until a few conversations in. If you leave it alone, at some point they’ll ask about what happened with your child’s father or bring up something that leads to that topic. Then you can mention it. I don’t think there’s a responsibility to bring up your DI on the first date any more than you should start discussing your entire relationship/sexual history.
Cat´s last blog ..Online dating, part eleventy-million