Well several men decided that was ‘freaky’. LOL

I just deleted them as potentials, and moved on. Any real man out there would be able to handle that truth. Sometimes life isn’t a cookie cutter version of what the media sells as fairyland dreams. If a man can’t handle that that is how I became a mother, and respect my choices, then I don’t want that man.

So it really isn’t something I worry about in my future. When I am truly ready, and want to meet someone / have someone seriously in “our” lives, I am sure I will find a man capable of loving us, despite how we became an ‘us’.
Barbara Doduk´s last blog ..Should I become a Switch Hitter?

However, each of the 2 times I attempted to date the one’s who said they wanted a partner their actions where like a shield to block my advances.I heard speeches about how they HAD to spend quality time with their kid as if the smiggen I was asking for was going to suck up all of it. It was never my intention to take away but to add to their life.Not to mention the long days of silence in between contact as if others where in the picture.

Don’t get me wrong I by no means want to make another disappearing presence in a child’s life and for that reason I think we should spend time alone a while before the child is introduced.But SMCs have to invest something real or nothing will come of all the talk or is it just talk? This last one I approached as just a friend not ruling out something more if that’s where the universe took us, but her enthusiasm quickly waned before we went on the first date because she met someone else.I’ve discovered that this person has a pattern of dating the same type of person who doesn’t fit that life partner mole. The stakes are higher and “I” have a lot to more to lose if I fall in love with the kid and things go south, so I would appreciate it if they would handle us suitors more respectfully.It’s not all about you moms and your role.

There is a reason we all are single and it bears looking into with a professional and not blame the kids as the reason you haven’t found a long term relationship.

A network to help – not only family but friends and a career that has flexibility – those are the things that will make or break the experience.

As for the rest? Life comes with no guarantees for any of us. If she never has a child, she may not meet someone she wishes to spend a chunk of her life with. As she grows older, her taste in potential partners will grow and evolve with her – whether she has a child or not.

I think this is such a personal choice, a feel-it-in-your-gut choice, but one in which she needs to think about the child and the family and friends she can provide as extended family. There’s no reason to preclude anything or anyone in that picture; none of us can read the future.

My hope would be that she talk to other choice moms – not only those with babies but those with 4 year olds or 8 year olds or 14 year olds, and weigh the pleasures and problems which, I suspect, may not be so different from the scenarios that divorced solo moms find themselves in.

But relationship deal breakers? Who’s to say so?
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Ask the Experts