Comments on: When a mama wonders about friends with benefits http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/ Moms and Dads Talk to Us First Tue, 26 Jul 2011 09:16:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Michele http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12703 Michele Mon, 25 Jul 2011 17:50:21 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12703 Hi It has been working for me! Hi
It has been working for me!

]]> By: Rachel Sarah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12693 Rachel Sarah Mon, 25 Jul 2011 04:26:38 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12693 @Stephanie: that sounds like it was painful... Thanks for the reminder to be careful -- not just with your feelings, but with your health, too. @Stephanie: that sounds like it was painful… Thanks for the reminder to be careful — not just with your feelings, but with your health, too.

]]> By: stephanie http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12689 stephanie Mon, 25 Jul 2011 02:22:32 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12689 If you can not get emotional go for it, but all I ended up with was falling for a guy that lied to me about being exclusive FWB with me only, and there were 4 more lovers. be wary......... If you can not get emotional go for it, but all I ended up with was falling for a guy that lied to me about being exclusive FWB with me only, and there were 4 more lovers. be wary………

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12682 Dr. Leah Sun, 24 Jul 2011 10:38:37 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12682 <strong>Rym Hubbard: </strong>Thank you for discussing this issue from your perspective as a widow. We're so sorry for your loss. It's interesting you mention "clingy" ... guys can also lose emotional perspective in a FWB situation. Thanks for mentioning it. Rym Hubbard: Thank you for discussing this issue from your perspective as a widow. We’re so sorry for your loss. It’s interesting you mention “clingy” … guys can also lose emotional perspective in a FWB situation. Thanks for mentioning it.

]]> By: Rym Hubbard http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12676 Rym Hubbard Sun, 24 Jul 2011 03:28:34 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12676 Since my husband's death six years ago, my first two relationships were FWB. Emotional detachment is important as in distinguishing physical lonliness versus a need for physical intimacy. In the first case, he was here in this country just for the summer but helped me ge through the first summer without my husband (physical intimacy) and I knew from the beginning that he was not my type. The second relationship several years ago was FWB and only benefits; no dating. We had nothing in common and it lasted 18 months until he became too clingy. I am in my first serious relationship but I gave myself time to heal and recognize no one will measure up to my beloved, late husband -- how do you compete. Waiting permitted me approach with a fresh perspective of what was important to me in a long-term male companion and how capable I had become with life and single parenthood. Since my husband’s death six years ago, my first two relationships were FWB. Emotional detachment is important as in distinguishing physical lonliness versus a need for physical intimacy. In the first case, he was here in this country just for the summer but helped me ge through the first summer without my husband (physical intimacy) and I knew from the beginning that he was not my type. The second relationship several years ago was FWB and only benefits; no dating. We had nothing in common and it lasted 18 months until he became too clingy. I am in my first serious relationship but I gave myself time to heal and recognize no one will measure up to my beloved, late husband — how do you compete. Waiting permitted me approach with a fresh perspective of what was important to me in a long-term male companion and how capable I had become with life and single parenthood.

]]> By: Rachel Sarah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12673 Rachel Sarah Sun, 24 Jul 2011 03:21:30 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12673 @Nakia: Thanks for chiming in about your own experience with FWBs. Stay in touch. @Nakia: Thanks for chiming in about your own experience with FWBs. Stay in touch.

]]> By: Rachel Sarah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12672 Rachel Sarah Sun, 24 Jul 2011 03:20:50 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12672 @Nina: That is SUCH a great nugget of advice: "Just remember.....when someone tells you something about him/herself, believe it the first time." Thanks! @Nina: That is SUCH a great nugget of advice: “Just remember…..when someone tells you something about him/herself, believe it the first time.”
Thanks!

]]> By: nakia http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12670 nakia Sun, 24 Jul 2011 01:27:42 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12670 It depends on the woman, I personally have friends who have become "fwb", which I refer to as my roster. My situation is different because being a single mom to two girls, one of who is special needs, I don't have the time for more. I'm in control, they don't interact with my kids but as friends know about them, and its what I need whenever. So far it has not been any issues, except the guy catching feelings but not enough to ruin friendship. Be clear, have rules. It depends on the woman, I personally have friends who have become “fwb”, which I refer to as my roster. My situation is different because being a single mom to two girls, one of who is special needs, I don’t have the time for more. I’m in control, they don’t interact with my kids but as friends know about them, and its what I need whenever. So far it has not been any issues, except the guy catching feelings but not enough to ruin friendship. Be clear, have rules.

]]> By: Nina http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12669 Nina Sun, 24 Jul 2011 01:05:05 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12669 I have read all the comments and everyone makes a very good point on both sides. This is all new to her. For 10 years she was with the same guy and now she's free to do what she wants. If she can keep a clear head and not get attached then I say go for it. Just remember.....when someone tells you something about themselves, believe them the first time. He wants casual, and I think that is all he wants. I have read all the comments and everyone makes a very good point on both sides. This is all new to her. For 10 years she was with the same guy and now she’s free to do what she wants. If she can keep a clear head and not get attached then I say go for it. Just remember…..when someone tells you something about themselves, believe them the first time. He wants casual, and I think that is all he wants.
Nina´s last blog ..Falling Behind……On Everything!!My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: The one asking... http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/07/friend-with-benefits/comment-page-1/#comment-12647 The one asking... Sat, 23 Jul 2011 03:22:52 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=14568#comment-12647 Wow! Thanks for the great stories :-) After much, much thinking I talked to him, made it clear what I wanted and did not want, and he wanted the same! Neither of us want/need a romantic relationship, but wants a better physical relationship... We know the story/situation about the other.... and have a "playdate" soon!! Thank you ladies. I'm confident in myself that this will work , for just as long as it needs to. We both know this isn't a long term thing, rather a "here and now" thing! :-) It's a risk for both of us - not just me, but I feel it's worth seeing just how good the benefits can be ;) Wow! Thanks for the great stories :-)

After much, much thinking I talked to him, made it clear what I wanted and did not want, and he wanted the same! Neither of us want/need a romantic relationship, but wants a better physical relationship… We know the story/situation about the other…. and have a “playdate” soon!!

Thank you ladies. I’m confident in myself that this will work , for just as long as it needs to. We both know this isn’t a long term thing, rather a “here and now” thing! :-) It’s a risk for both of us – not just me, but I feel it’s worth seeing just how good the benefits can be ;)

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