Comments on: How to survive a dry spell http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/ Moms and Dads Talk to Us First Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:54:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Michelle Santagate http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13927 Michelle Santagate Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:54:54 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13927 Hallelujah! I'd rather be alone then with the wrong one. I'd rather be alone then with "Mr. Right now". Not into that. But loneliness sinks in sometimes. Still, I know that if I allow myself to be with the wrong person the loneliness won't go away. I am SO proud of myself for not giving into my son's father's multi advances recently. Negativity just oooozes in when I do that. It's been empowering, to say "No" to a bad thing, to not continue my negative patterns. No matter how lonely I get, I'm comforted by the new strength I feel. Hallelujah! I’d rather be alone then with the wrong one. I’d rather be alone then with “Mr. Right now”. Not into that. But loneliness sinks in sometimes. Still, I know that if I allow myself to be with the wrong person the loneliness won’t go away. I am SO proud of myself for not giving into my son’s father’s multi advances recently. Negativity just oooozes in when I do that. It’s been empowering, to say “No” to a bad thing, to not continue my negative patterns. No matter how lonely I get, I’m comforted by the new strength I feel.
Michelle Santagate´s last blog ..It Must Have Been Love- Drew RyniewiczMy ComLuv Profile

]]> By: SingleMama http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13926 SingleMama Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:42:13 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13926 Hineslty, I haven't had sex since my son's father left when I was 12 weeks pregnant (My son will be 2 years old in a few weeks). She shouldn't feel the need to be with someone. Take some time on your own for a while! You might realize how amazing you are and that you don't need a man to be happy :) Hineslty, I haven’t had sex since my son’s father left when I was 12 weeks pregnant (My son will be 2 years old in a few weeks). She shouldn’t feel the need to be with someone. Take some time on your own for a while! You might realize how amazing you are and that you don’t need a man to be happy :)

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13924 Dr. Leah Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:34:27 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13924 <strong>Golda Smith:</strong> Well said. Thanks for joining us. Golda Smith: Well said. Thanks for joining us.

]]> By: Golda Smith http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13923 Golda Smith Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:30:34 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13923 I'm with Barbara, I'm on a self imposed dry spell. It's been at least 3 years and while I do LOVE sex, I enjoy it with the right person and am not willing to settle to all the BS that's out there. Between building my business, raising my kids and other things in my life I have to admit that I'm pretty fulfilled. I’m with Barbara, I’m on a self imposed dry spell. It’s been at least 3 years and while I do LOVE sex, I enjoy it with the right person and am not willing to settle to all the BS that’s out there. Between building my business, raising my kids and other things in my life I have to admit that I’m pretty fulfilled.
Golda Smith´s last blog ..Expose, Involve & UpgradeMy ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Avigail74 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13872 Avigail74 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 02:36:12 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13872 If FWB is not quite what you want~ but want lots of attention and affection from men~ go salsa dancing!!!! These guys are very good at making you feel oh, so sensual. Don't know salsa? No problem, most salsa clubs have dance lessons right before the clubs begin~ and most men don't care~ they like showing you the steps. Swing those hips woman! Swirl! Have fun! If FWB is not quite what you want~ but want lots of attention and affection from men~ go salsa dancing!!!! These guys are very good at making you feel oh, so sensual. Don’t know salsa? No problem, most salsa clubs have dance lessons right before the clubs begin~ and most men don’t care~ they like showing you the steps. Swing those hips woman! Swirl! Have fun!
Avigail74´s last blog ..The Four Day TripMy ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Barbara Doduk http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13866 Barbara Doduk Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:34:20 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13866 PS Given this is an old post renewed... I wonder if Betsy has met a man LOL PS Given this is an old post renewed… I wonder if Betsy has met a man LOL
Barbara Doduk´s last blog ..Good Looking Men #7My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Barbara Doduk http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13865 Barbara Doduk Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:32:07 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13865 I haven't had sex in 2.5 years (since I was 1 month pregnant) and I don't really miss sex. I've had a few near misses, but none of the actual completion LOL. I am just not ready to get that involved. I have no time for a man or the demands of a relationship. Relationships are full time work. I work full time 40 hours a week. I commute. I raise my daughter full time alone. I am exhausted by each day end. My family and friendships are more important, and spending what little social time I have with them and keeping those relationships active is my priority. That does not leave time for the hassle of dating, or time required for a relationship - at this time. I also had a history of dating all the wrong guys. The men I've dated in the last 2 years have been a better quality for sure, and they have been willing to wait for sex. I believe I need to know someone well enough to get sexually involved now - as I want a relationship, not FWB - I had enough of those (willingly and unwillingly) in the past. So in fact this is a self imposed dry spell, as I could be having sex. I suppose because I have refocused my mind, I don't find I crave sex, so I don't have a BOB. My sex life, or lack of, does not define me. I used to think I was less of a person if I was not in a relationship (any relationship) - I have healed so much of my mind that I do not believe having a man in my life makes me complete. I am complete without one. Oh I still notice the good looking men, just the other day one walked into my office and literally left me tongue-tied. I asked my co-workers if I could have him. *LOL* But truth is, I just know that I am not ready yet. However, I know when I am ready to devote my time and energy into a man, then the 'right' man will come along, it will be amazing. I know now that I am worth the wait. I haven’t had sex in 2.5 years (since I was 1 month pregnant) and I don’t really miss sex.

I’ve had a few near misses, but none of the actual completion LOL. I am just not ready to get that involved. I have no time for a man or the demands of a relationship. Relationships are full time work.

I work full time 40 hours a week. I commute. I raise my daughter full time alone. I am exhausted by each day end. My family and friendships are more important, and spending what little social time I have with them and keeping those relationships active is my priority. That does not leave time for the hassle of dating, or time required for a relationship – at this time.

I also had a history of dating all the wrong guys. The men I’ve dated in the last 2 years have been a better quality for sure, and they have been willing to wait for sex. I believe I need to know someone well enough to get sexually involved now – as I want a relationship, not FWB – I had enough of those (willingly and unwillingly) in the past. So in fact this is a self imposed dry spell, as I could be having sex.

I suppose because I have refocused my mind, I don’t find I crave sex, so I don’t have a BOB. My sex life, or lack of, does not define me. I used to think I was less of a person if I was not in a relationship (any relationship) – I have healed so much of my mind that I do not believe having a man in my life makes me complete. I am complete without one.

Oh I still notice the good looking men, just the other day one walked into my office and literally left me tongue-tied. I asked my co-workers if I could have him. *LOL*

But truth is, I just know that I am not ready yet. However, I know when I am ready to devote my time and energy into a man, then the ‘right’ man will come along, it will be amazing. I know now that I am worth the wait.
Barbara Doduk´s last blog ..Good Looking Men #7My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Honoree Corder http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13857 Honoree Corder Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:22:41 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13857 I don't recommend you reach my record dry spell of 3 1/2 years, but here's what I do recommend: don't settle! Intimacy is what I'm hearing you say you want, so true intimacy and love you shall have! Get really clear about what you want, what you don't want, and what your deal-breakers are. You're sorting, looking for the perfect person for you, and clarity will help you to not choose the wrong fella. It's impossible to say where you'll find Mr. Wonderful. He might be a huge sports fan and watching the game. He might be a gym rat who works out daily. He might serve on the board of a non-profit, take his dog to the dog park every day or be the best friend of one of your girlfriend's husbands. He could be anywhere but where he is not, for sure, is coming to your door without an invitation. So get some clarity and then get out there! Get busy with your life -- fall in love with you -- and sooner rather than later your dry spell will end in a most unexpected and lovely way. Best wishes for finding love! I don’t recommend you reach my record dry spell of 3 1/2 years, but here’s what I do recommend: don’t settle! Intimacy is what I’m hearing you say you want, so true intimacy and love you shall have!

Get really clear about what you want, what you don’t want, and what your deal-breakers are. You’re sorting, looking for the perfect person for you, and clarity will help you to not choose the wrong fella. It’s impossible to say where you’ll find Mr. Wonderful. He might be a huge sports fan and watching the game. He might be a gym rat who works out daily. He might serve on the board of a non-profit, take his dog to the dog park every day or be the best friend of one of your girlfriend’s husbands. He could be anywhere but where he is not, for sure, is coming to your door without an invitation. So get some clarity and then get out there! Get busy with your life — fall in love with you — and sooner rather than later your dry spell will end in a most unexpected and lovely way.

Best wishes for finding love!
Honoree Corder´s last blog ..Single Mom Free Book GiveawayMy ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Natasha http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13856 Natasha Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:00:34 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13856 I am closing in on the one year mark. Amy, my last time was with my babys father when I was 4 months pregnant. My baby is 6 months old and I am still breast feeding. I have been substituting with exercise. I am climbing the walls! BOB is just making me more frustrated. I need the weight of a man on top of me! ;) I have told a few friends that I am looking for a FWB. I look at the gym. There are a few beautiful men at the gym. I cannot imagine approaching a guy at the gym while I am sweating and salivating! God help me to get laid as soon as possible! Please report back with success stories. It will keep me motivated. My blog " allthethingsnoonetellsyouaboutmotherhood blogspot.com I am closing in on the one year mark. Amy, my last time was with my babys father when I was 4 months pregnant. My baby is 6 months old and I am still breast feeding. I have been substituting with exercise. I am climbing the walls! BOB is just making me more frustrated. I need the weight of a man on top of me! ;) I have told a few friends that I am looking for a FWB. I look at the gym. There are a few beautiful men at the gym. I cannot imagine approaching a guy at the gym while I am sweating and salivating! God help me to get laid as soon as possible! Please report back with success stories. It will keep me motivated. My blog ” allthethingsnoonetellsyouaboutmotherhood blogspot.com

]]> By: Michelle Santagate http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2011/10/how-to-survive-a-dry-spell/comment-page-1/#comment-13855 Michelle Santagate Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:26:21 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=7133#comment-13855 I WISH I had Amy Anderson's cujones! I'm taking notes. I've gone YEARS without.... yeah. But I always found it got easier after the first month or so. I sort of just forgot about it. I'm pretty good at closing myself off though, so it may not have been the healthiest thing. If she wants to STOP the cravings I would suggest LESS masturbation. Then her hormone levels will adjust accordingly, just like milk production adjusts to the baby's demand while breast feeding. Supply and demand. BUT, if it's a real-life solution she's looking for then DEFINITELY go with Amy's advice. I'm thinking of taking it myself. In the interim exercise IS a good way to release any pent-up energy. Not as fun, but it is helpful. I WISH I had Amy Anderson’s cujones! I’m taking notes. I’ve gone YEARS without…. yeah. But I always found it got easier after the first month or so. I sort of just forgot about it. I’m pretty good at closing myself off though, so it may not have been the healthiest thing. If she wants to STOP the cravings I would suggest LESS masturbation. Then her hormone levels will adjust accordingly, just like milk production adjusts to the baby’s demand while breast feeding. Supply and demand. BUT, if it’s a real-life solution she’s looking for then DEFINITELY go with Amy’s advice. I’m thinking of taking it myself. In the interim exercise IS a good way to release any pent-up energy. Not as fun, but it is helpful.
Michelle Santagate´s last blog ..Katt Williams- On Being real.My ComLuv Profile

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