I’ve never been concerned with the amount of time she spends txt’ing and FB’ing. It’s the specific times she uses it. The phone gets turned off when she’s driving. Facebook is closed during homework. I’m actually concerned when teachers (which she has two of) allow phone use in class.

I think the issue with really become relying on technical controls rather than punishment / reward. What happens when the controls are no longer in place?

-Stu

I work as a substitute teacher and have been a full-time teacher in an earlier life…

Social media can be, as the name suggests, a powerful social tool, and it can be an artificial social experience at the same time.

I don’t know if I’d brand social media as a symptom or the cause, however. We live quite an over worked, over-plugged, over-engaged life than ever existed when we were growing up, and I think a lot of the issues we are seeing are a result of that. How many of us eat in front of the TV? How many parents are forced to be ready to roll for their jobs 24 hours a day? My mother worked when I was a kid, but never had the type of pressure that people in her same position have now. Social media is just a part of that.

I asked my daughter if people ever use text to ask a girl out or break up and her response was, “That’s how they do it mom.” Well alrighty then. This is not our world. She messages me from her room to ask if dinner is ready.

I completely agree with Travis and others that there are many controls in place for parents who are concerned about computer and cell phone usage. My teenage daughter’s computer has a lock on it before and after a certain time. Verizon does have controls, and you can also check online when texts are being sent. I noticed some were being sent during school hours and took the phone away for three months. That seemed to solve the problem, and I haven’t noticed an issue since when I check.

I also think it is important, as others have said, to set an example and create a world of opportunities for social situations outside of the virtual world. Since my daughter was tiny, I’ve enrolled her in dance classes, Gymboree, soccer, cheerleading, horsebackriding, or whatever she showed an interest in. Someone mentioned church groups–very social! I volunteer at her school so that I can see first-hand what her social life is like. I go to every track meet, every cheer practice, and every lesson possible. She has friends over frequently, and our house is the “fun house.” Unfortunately, guess what they do? Yep, those giggling teenage girls get right on the computer!
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However, too many teens are not unplugged at night when they should be studying or sleeping. Thank you Travis for the insight on the parental controls through Verizon; I will pass this service feature along to parents who are struggling with their teens’ texting over-usage. My daughter is only 3 now but I know I will set strict limitations on her technology usage when she is older.

All parents and adults who work with children must also be aware of the potential for hurt feelings stemming from social networking. We need to teach our children to never post anything which could be construed as spiteful, hateful or insensitive and that once something is out there in cyber-world, you can’t take it back. Children also need to be taught how to handle the mean children who post negative comments about others because all of our children will be hurt at some point through social networking or texting and their hurt won’t be private.

So, no, teens aren’t losing their social skills; they are developing them at an alarming rate. Their social lives are taking over their intellectual capabilities. Thousands of students in school each day risk having their I-phones taken away by a teacher because they don’t want to miss the latest text from a friend. A student cannot write an essay without a text interruption every five minutes. Updating a Facebook page takes precedence over studying for a math test. Many teens’ grades suffer as a result, but that’s okay for them because they have friends. Will they learn to balance socializing and school work? It’s up to the parents and their teens at this point.

I then set the time restraints to open back up at 6am. Making it so during the night there phone is a glorified brick.

I couldn’t go to another provider, just because of Verizon’s flexibility in managing the all the cells (I have 4 that have restrictions)

I have been using the Internet for 16 years. I’m always up on the latest trends and since it’s my career too, I get to mess with it all day long.

(You should of seen how I controlled Internet usage until I was separated)
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Good Question. Short answer is yes. Longer answer: Kids respond differently to the opportunities that texting and social media create. Being a Johnny-come-lately to texting myself, I’m amazed how useful it is. However, like anything else, moderation is key. My 12-year-old daughter has a cell phone but barely uses it (often to my frustration), but I keep an eye on the use anyway through the online account access. Also, I do (and highly advise other parents to) take thet cellphones at night. This should be a ground rule before handing out a phone to the offspring, that way you don’t have to “take it back” later. If you weren’t so lucky and there are now issues, do it at the first sign of issues (irritability, fatigue, appearing sleep deprived). Check online when they are texting/calling. The lure of communicating with friends late at night appears to be a nigh irresistable urge for a lot of teens.

This tendency aggravates the huge problem of sleep deprivation among adolescents. The National Institutes of Health recommends 9 (yes that’s right – 9) hours of sleep for adolescents. How many adolescents do I see in my practice that get that much through the school week? Not many. This leads to problems in academic performance, psychological functioning and family relations (aren’t we all crabby when we don’t sleep enough?). I know this doesn’t address Facebook and other social media, but I think the rules about access at night apply to them as well. Talk with your teens as well about what goes on in the online areana. You might be surprised at what you hear. Hope this helps.

I noticed the break down of communication skills very early. It was when I was a teenager. I had a friend tell me how no they would rather talk to me about a problem we had between us on Instant Messenger. I remember thinking huh??? Why?! And then after our conversation I saw why. She could simultaneously rip me a new one and not have to see my reaction while doing it. So she no longer felt bad. Since then I have learned to keep myself in good graces and…. I saw how this soon increased as time went on. My peers had issues confronting their peers about problems, even every day matter. They became nervous to talk! woah?! I notice this more and more today.

If you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying it in person don’t say it on social media. The gusto some people have to say some things they do on facebook, twitter, IM, txt, etcc etccccc

And for the teenage girls, way to keep the boys in line! Don’t sacrifice those precious moments that you get to hear their nervous voice on the other end of the line-it’s priceless! I still have that first voicemail that bf left me almost 2 years ago.
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