Where do you hide the sex toys?
by Dr. Leah
Filed under All, Featured, Relationships, Single Moms
When a single mom asked us for some advice on a “private issue” — we were eager to listen. This mom owns a few “toys” that she uses for mild bondage sex play. But, (experienced parents will not be surprised): her kid found one of the sex toys under her bed and asked, “Mommy, what’s this for?”
Can you imagine your kid showing off your “fun hand cuffs” to his friends at school? SO humiliating! The gossip and snickering — and what your ex might say — is enough to kill that fantasy.
We encourage you to keep toys and games around for your own pleasure. Just make sure you have a foolproof hiding place.
If you’re stuck for a hiding place, try asking yourself: Where would you hide a pile of cash?
A simple lock box from the hardware store might do. (We know that some of you might have so many toys that one little lock box wouldn’t do!)
If you can splurge, sex stores such sell “toy boxes” for this purpose. They come in a variety of pretty styles, with a lock and key.
Obviously, it’s your choice, but the most important consideration is keeping your “toys” out of your kids’ sight.
If your kids ask,” What’s in the box, Mommy?” and hear a mumbled explanation, their curiosity will skyrocket. Explanations like “private things just for grown-ups” will signal all-out efforts to discover what’s really in this super secret box. It is just so much easier (and respectful to your kids) to keep your adult toys totally out of their awareness.
Some mothers, however, are more worried about other family members snooping:
“I’m not as worried about my kids finding my toys as I am about my mom,” a single mom told us.
This mama, who describes her mom as “so helpful but disturbingly old fashioned,” is also anxious that her mom might find her birth control because “in her world not being married means I most certainly wouldn’t need such a thing!”
Another single mom told us about an emergency evacuation of her building. Her mother, who was visiting, grabbed the kids, of course — but she also took the locked steel box, thinking that it contained important documents and, perhaps, cash and jewelry.
What this grandmother had taken was this mama’s “personal items.”
Luckily, the evacuation was brief and uneventful and no one unlocked the box. Enough said.
Please share: Where do you hide your toys?
Dads, we know that you’re hiding some, too!
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Photo via Flickr: Stephnskimo
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Twitter @ http://www.cathouseteri.blogspot.com
Mine are locked in a box that is not exactly LOCKED as much as it just has a tricky mechanism to open it up. (A box custom made by my man.) This isn’t really a problem, because my children (all grown) certainly know better than to snoop around my room and find things they don’t wanna know about! But recently, I had to have some of my household goods shipped to me by a coworker in California. My “toy box” was in this shipment. I told my coworker that it would be best if she didn’t let anyone open that box. Hee hee. And if they did, I really don’t care. It is for the peace of mind of others that the things are protected from public view.
Twitter @ tsquest
I have a large zippered bag in the top of my closet. Though I LOVE the toy box idea. I need one of those!!
I do have a vibrator in the drawer next to my bed and nearly lost it when I misplaced it once. Its mermaid shaped so I thought for certain one of my daughters found it…. yikes!
Nope, I had put it back in the bag in the closet accidentally. Whew!
Honestly my romantic goodies are not hidden at all ♥ the friskier items are in my undie drawer though. The boys would never go in there … trust me! They know I rep for a romance company & have grown-up products but don’t really care. My business products are under my bed in a pretty pink box ♥
Twitter @ ptlawmom
Hide? Nope, I don’t hide mine. But I also don’t tend to go for the phaliic-looking ones. I like the Lelo line and have a few of those as well as some Ben Wa balls and a whole lotta lube. All of that is in my bedside drawer. Each of them have their own container or satin pouch that I put them in after I clean them so unless my son opened the pouches, he wouldn’t know what they were and even if he did, I could most likely pass them off as a “massager” but I would probably be straight up and just say that it’s a special toy for Mommy and that if he wants something from Mommy’s drawer he needs to ask before he goes in there (I don’t keep anything else he would be looking for in there). That said, I should probably get something to put them in. Just hadn’t occurred to me.
I have an antique oak milk box (when the milk was delivered to the homes) by my bedside where I hide my stash. It has a latch but no lock. I keep one or two varies little items on top of it.
For may years it stored the legos.
Before that the cat food and before that……
aren’t we all glad that many of our inanimate objects cannot talk
Twitter @ Singlemommyhood
PT – LawMom: Your drawer with all the satin pouches sounds very “inspiring”.
Here’s my thought: the older kids get the more difficult their unexpected questions become to answer. Little kids accept simple answers, but bigger kids have follow up questions.
Might be a good thought to find something to put them in.
Twitter @ http://runningleap.wordpress.com
My 3 y.o. found my Lelo vibe one day. It’s not phallic, and she had no idea what it was, but she pressed a button and it turned on. She walked out of the room, but I heard a strange sound and found it going full-blast on my dresser. *BUZZZZZZZZZZZ*
I just turned it off. If she asked what it was, I guess I would have said it was a grown up toy…?
I try to keep them in my underwear drawer or under my nightstand where I can easily find it in the dark.
Funny story: When I was 21 (and living back at home for a while), I had my first vibe. I tucked it under my mattress edge to hide it, but the house cleaner came into my room to clean and she changed my bedclothes. I came home to find my vibrator (which was phallic) standing upright on my dresser! She must’ve known what it was, and I still don’t know if she told my mother, but oh God why didn’t she put it back?! I was mortified!
Hmmm. . .the noise. This is why lots of us refer to our vibes as “Buzzy Friends”.
If noise is an issue (*pause* thinking about subsequent predictable sounds, which kids would immediately seek to investigate) may-be adding some background music to our private moments is a solution.
Won: Yes, thanks for sharing this so honestly.
I’ll be repeating this bit of advice, no doubt, but psychologists are the best equipped to handle the complex issues single parents face. Of course, he wanted to smile – he’s human. But he wasn’t flustered, embarrassed, or overwhelmed.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
Looks like I may be the only one, but toys just dont do it for me. never have so hiding them isn’t an issue. Doesn’t mean I don’t have other ways of pleasuring myself, I do. I just don’t use toys. Anyone else??
I should probably look into this…however I know that I would be too annoyed “in the moment” that I had to go unlock something to get to my toys, that would be a buzzkill. So I don’t know. Right now, they’re all in my office or the bathroom in a cabinet where my little one can’t reach, but they’re not really hidden. Aaargh…
Funny story on the subject, two friends of mine from church (a 40-something and a teenager) offered to pack up the rest of my apartment and move it over to the house when I was in the process of moving. I was SO stoked. They came to my office, got my keys, and were off. When I went to the house, EVERYTHING was there! They were awesome! Looking through the bathroom, though, I found a box with a towel wrapped around something…unwrapped the towel and turned BRIGHT PURPLE when I realized it was my vibes and such. That’s definitely not what I had them in at the apartment. PURE MORTIFICATION. I go to a pretty sex-positive church, but still….I haven’t brought it up.
Ha! My son found mine once — he was really little, and referred to it as a “pink crayon”. It is now high up on a shelf, in my closet, in my travel bag.
In a padlocked tool box in my bedroom closet. I have often thought (usually while watching something like Law and Order) “What if I get murdered and they have to go through my stuff to find clues, and they cut open the lock while my loved ones are standing there?” Ha!
Twitter @ http://www.cathouseteri.blogspot.com
MindyMom: I was never into toys to “pleasure myself.” But I do so enjoy having some to share with my loverman! (In fact, most of them, he picked out!)
He pleases me very well with or without them. They just add a fun dimension, from time to time.
Twitter @ ptlawmom
The good stores, like Babeland and Good Vibes, have some wonderful non-phallic, woman-friendly options. DrLeah, good point. I will look into other options.
MindyMom, you are missing out.
I recently “found” my son and daughter-in-law’s toys on a towel on the bathroom floor, drying, when I took my grandson upstairs to bathe him.
I asked my daughter-in-law if she would kindly move them as I did not want the grandson to play with them. Oh my gosh! We all got over it.
I’ve got 2 large matching art/deco boxes with lids that are kept on the top row of my shelving unit in my bedroom….they look innocent enough, just art.
I have a large zippered bag in the top of my closet. Though I LOVE the toy box idea. I need one of those!!
I do have a vibrator in the drawer next to my bed and nearly lost it when I misplaced it once. Its mermaid shaped so I thought for certain one of my daughters found it…. yikes!
Nope, I had put it back in the bag in the closet accidentally. Whew!
Best Sex Toys´s last blog ..Michael lucas after hours avi dar’s sensafirm cock
Okay, so I am a 17yo old girl who lives with mom and her nasty boyfriend, and I’m not stupid i know she has toys but, since she has been dating this guy OMG she has like a million, and rings and lube (HUGE BOTTLE) and vibes and stuff. And its like okay I understand you have these things but please dont leave them out on the nightstand or just under the bathroom sink like laying out. Its gross. I swear her bf does it just to make me mad like the other night i walk in the bedroom and there is a huge vibe on his nightstand table he just looks at it looks at me and then laughs. I was like really? its like he is trying to rub it in my face that he is doing my mom. Please someone help!?
re: innocent teen, i’d be very cautious with this guy. sounds really creepy. i’m surprised your mom is ok with this.