Breaking up when you’re pregnant
by Dr. Leah
Filed under Relationships
We received this upsetting e-mail from a pregnant first-time single mom:
“My boyfriend seemed to share my joy about having a baby. We’d been talking about starting a family for a while now, and he knew that I was trying. My sister has fertility issues, so postponing trying to conceive seemed a foolish gamble.”
“But last night, he told me that he wants to break-up. He was going on about wanting to move to a different part of the country. He didn’t offer any real explanations. I’m devastated — and have no idea what to do next.”
We both understand the emotional pain this single mom must be feeling right now.
We know that many of you have been there. We’d like to encourage this mom-to-be to take the time to think back on the conversations she had about your fertility concerns. Even though he “enthusiastically participated” in their baby’s conception, there were likely tell-tale signs that this man was not ready to commit to fatherhood.
Perhaps her pregnancy stirred up painful feelings in he boyfriend, and he sees fleeing or breaking up as the only way out? No doubt, this abandonment probably feels like a sudden death in the family. In a sense, she might feel widowed — but perhaps more unsettled and bewildered, because widows at least know that their partners did not want to abandon them.
Since her boyfriend is offering no real explanation, she is likely tormenting herself, wondering if there was anything she could have done to prevent it. (Truthfully, there is nothing she could have done to prevent this break-up.)
Yet we want to tell her: You can do something now. Stop blaming yourself. It is not your fault.
It’s likely that this man would have left at some point. It is better to know now so you have time to plan your life without being shackled to a guy who in his heart has one foot out the door. The good news is that you are in control of your life now.
Get the support you deserve. Tell your physician or health care provider immediately about the emotional turmoil you feel.
Reach out to friends and family. If you really need to vent, or your emotions are interfering with taking care of your health, counseling is your best choice. “Male bashing” might feel good now, but remember that you’re talking about your baby’s father. Keep what is said to family and friends in bounds.
We’d love to know:
Did you face a break-up during your pregnancy?
Do you have any advice to offer to this distraught single-mom-to-be?
(Photo courtesy of Matt Garland)
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Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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I am 4 months pregnant and my partner is leaving me… I feel angry and i am trying to really feel better. I know i cant help but letting go. She blames.me for everything and seems we just lost eachother. She said that this is my child not hers and wish me.luck Aww that was what made me angry how did i ever believe we.were going.to be a.family? I feel i haven’t allow myself to feel anymore. The constant fights have.make me so tired and depress and guilty for not giving my baby happy moments i am trying . It just feels alone and lost
I just found out I was pregnant a few days ago. My boyfriend had been asking for a baby for a while and I was hesistant because I was trying to finish up my Master’s first. Everything seemed to be great and then the next day he completely cut me off. He acts as if I don’t exist. I asked him to help with the medical bills and he said for me to aboort the baby. I think he may be dating someone else. I am confused and hurt. Not to mention embarassed because I am alone and pregnant.
My boyfriend and I were in our “honeymoon” phase, in hindsight. We had known each other for over ten years, have both traveled and studied and done what we thought was suffice in experience for our ages. We were both single, same values, same lifestyle dreams. We fell instantly in love, talked of marriage, made long term plans. I felt that we were both really present in the experience and felt so fortunate that life and love were happening with someone i knew, trusted and was completely learning to love. We didn’t plan, but we didn’t do much to not plan either – when I found out I was pregnant, within days, my boyfriend had a breakdown. Entirely. All of a sudden I was hearing from him it doesn’t feel right, that it was too rushed, that the experience I thought was for real was “delusional” to him. He pushed me away. I was devastated. I went through periods of rage, depression, anxiety, self loathing (how could I have been so duped! I deserve more, the baby deserves more…) I felt ashamed and isolated that it had happened to me “this way”. Faced with other mothers or pregnant women with loving and supportive partners was horrifying. I hid away as much as I could. All the pregnancy books depict as much as a white picket fenced image as I feared. I felt that a lot of the websites were catered to really young women, single and pregnant or to “choice” moms, single and pregnant. I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I am now 8 months pregnant. This entire time I have never not loved the little baby boy inside of me. I have felt much guilt at the uncontrollable emotional waves I have put him through (the yelling, heaving sobs, worries about the future) I have anxiety that this experience in the womb will set him up with behaviour issues and emotional issues for life…However late on in the pregnancy, I am beginning to settle more into myself and the baby now, though it has taken a long time, it is happening naturally. I wish I was stronger in some ways, to have protected myself emotionally – but you can’t plan or foresee these things happening. I think it is better to feel it all out, get it out of your system no matter how sad, hard and ugly so when the baby comes, you are clear. Even though it doesn’t quite feel like it now – I know this man has done us both a favour by leaving, shining through his real, weak & selfish character. For these last weeks of pregnancy, I aim to heal as much as I can, really make an effort to let go and feel the love and give love to this beautiful boy I will share my life with. Nothing else really matters as long as he is healthy. Good luck to all the other women out there in all the other challenging situations. May we all find a place of peace, sooner than later.
Twitter @ londymasondo
am two months pregnant, my boyfreind and I fight a lot he’s moody and he even told me that the baby is not his,he got worked by minor things. am so stressed and even think of dumping him coz we don’t spend much time together anymore. and the little time we spend on the fone we fight.
Kadele,
i feel your pain. im there now.I’m 5 months pregnant and my boyfriend travels a lot and he has been distant for the past month.this time his work would take him away from home for months. well long story short. he broke up with me on my bday which was Oct 12th. Im beyond sad. i feel like im grieving the death of someone. and at the same time he is soo cold. but i dont know what to think.. he says he still loves me and is still in love with me. but thinks we cant fix our relationship..it doesnt make any sense to me..while im hurting..i dont know what to do. i try to be strong. and i have my very weak moments. i just cant believe he would do this to me. we have been living together for 2 years. and the baby waant an accident. He tells that he doesnt want to think about anything , not the future and our living situation..Which me being hurt and having to think about all the possiblities , is driving me nuts.. i tell him we are not going to be like we were. and that because he broke it off with me , that he is going to have to move out and thats when he shuts down more. he says we are always going to be in eachothers lives.. but does he even realize that we are never going to be a family since we are not together.. all this is cruel. and i dont know how to handle it. i havent been able to eat much and i cant sleep. i have no family where i live, no support from no one. and im suffering alone.
My boyfriend and I had been living wel .he’s been there for me and the other wa around. And when a told him I was a month pregnant he was supportive and excited about it,and when I was 3 months the story changed he told me I had to abort the baby which teared my heart apart. I started hating the baby in me.Am 5 months now and love my baby without him and with my family am well now
I met a man, we fell in love, made plans for the future, etc. When we found out about the pregnancy (unplanned), my partner told me it’d be ok, that we would make it work. I was fearful of the future, since I wasn’t ready to be pregnant again (I already have a child from my divorce six years ago). However, he reassured me that it would be alright. We were in this together. He had us move into his house, since we were all going to be a family now.
After a couple months things changed. He began to distance himself. Eventually, he ended things. Stated he thought he was in love with me, but he really wasn’t. He thought he was ready for this, but isn’t. Etc. That was when I was 3-4 months pregnant.
I’m almost 7 months pregnant now, and this pregnancy has been very difficult for me. On top of the emotional turmoil of losing the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, I’ve had complications with the pregnancy. Things are still difficult emotionally, but not quite as bad as they were. It’s still difficult at night when the baby is kicking and moving around, and I feel like he should be here with me. Experiencing everything with me. Instead, he is cold and angry and won’t even discuss plans for the baby with me.
Part of me still hopes he’ll come to his senses, realize what he’s giving up and change his mind. But I know I can’t bank on that. Instead, I’m working on being strong and preparing to do this alone.
@izzy, i can feel your pain too. i’m 8 months pregnant now. living alone since my parents live in another province (hours & lots of money travel away).
My baby’s father rarely visits me. He gives financial support but its not enough for Christ’s sake. So, I really feel bad. I cried at night most of the time. But i feel better in the mornings
I need to be… coz i work 
I do that sometimes. And i was emotionally stable when she visited me last month.
I think you’ll feel better when you call your mom
Really, there are just guys who’s so cruel & unhuman. They’re not worth our time. So, just let it be if they mistreated you before. They’ll have their karma later in life. >:)
Just enjoy your pregnancy & your soon to be baby. My mother said, that babies are angels. So, we’re blessed that we’re carrying an angel inside us.
We need to take care of them.
Btw, I feel fine now, knowing that i’m not really alone being alone right now. How i wish we’re just neighbors or have some chatroom so we could chit-chat. =)
My boyfriend and I where not together for a long time before I got pregnant. It wasn’t what we wanted, I already have three children and he has a son, so four kids was enough for us. But we didn’t have the money for an abortion and time passed and I got bigger, we discussed adoption, but I had already grown feelings for the little one inside me. I told him I was keeping the baby, he felt as if the whole idea was crazy, but I know that if I give the baby up I can no longer be with him, seeing him with his son would be too painful for me, and if I keep it, I know that there is a strong possibility that I will lose him, honestly I think that I’ve already lost him. He’s so distant, he hasn’t said anything but I think things are pretty much over between us, which breaks my heart. All I can do is just keep going and figuring things out on the way, take care of my kids and myself. who knows what the future holds, me with four children on my own, but as long as I’m alive and breathing life will go on.
I have a one and a half hear old daughter with my husband. I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. My husband left me last week. We had a great sex life, didnt fight often but had a few financial issues. He also has a lot of anxiety and is on meds for that. He says he loves me but isn’t jn love with me. I say that bs he’s just a very lazy character. I love him but I’ve put up with his dependency for too long. I run two businesses make a decent amount I take care of our daughter 97% of the time. I arrange the daycare drop off pick up. All family activities k arrange. I do the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, landscaping, moving furniture, painting rooms……name it and I do it. With exception to putting her to bed, he did when he wasn’t working afternoons. Anyways. First I got a therapist. It’s been under two weeks. He’s helped he quite a bit and he said in all of his marriage counselling he advises I don’t take him back, he thinks for sure he will come back. I still ge upset and scared but in the long run I can vaguely see the light at the end of this very long tunnel. My confidence will take a hit as i get bigger and more uncomfortable while trying to run the house with my businesses and daughter. Just have to hold strong and no that at some point this too shall pass. Nights are the worst feels like the emotions are waves crashing over me but I know it will stop at some point.
I’ve been with my now ex boyfriend on and off for the last 6 years. He was my first everything. Over the years we would break up and get back together then once he got another girl pregnant and I took him back but once we broke up he went back 2 her and got her pregnant again. A year later we got together this year and everything was great he was a whole new person. He asked me 2 marry him and everything. He got himself together, got a job, and we were goin 2 move in together and we wanted 2 have a baby. We kept trying and nothin happened at first but I finally got pregnant and I was ecstatic! But when I told him, he turned green all over and I was so confused. I am now 4 months pregnant and over these last few months, he’s been distant and cold and he’s just out of control! Drinkin, drugs, never coming home. He never goes 2 dr app with me, doesn’t ask about the baby, never texts or calls he wont touch me and I dont understand whats goin on. Idk y he’s doing this to me. I thought he loved me but now Im stuck here in this apartment I got for us all alone away from all my friends and family. Now at 23 Im a single mom of a 5 year old and soon 2 be newborn baby. I dont kno what 2 do
He was ready to marry me until I got pregnant. He started finding reasons to argue. He would yell and embarrass me in public. He somehow put in his mind that I cheated on him during a moment we were broken up. This is his basis for ending our rekindled relationship. However, everything was fine until I told him I was with child. I am currently 29wks pregnant. I was a senior in college when I found out. Now, I only want to get a job and support my child. It hurts but I am overwhelmed with joy that my son will soon be in my arms. Life goes on in infinite, beautiful directions if we allow time to heal.
One Love
Twitter @ nana_n2ba
Hi,I’m almost 4 months pregnant now,and I my situation is way different because I dumped my boyfriend..what caused the breakup is that,he hasn’t been there for me nor wasn’t supportive ever since I told him I was pregnant,it was just a couple of weeks thing then it kinda seemed like he wanted to bail out but didn’t instead he just stayed away,while I was going through a drastic horrible time of getting the what you call (morning sicknesses),luckilly my mother was always there for me,till today she still is,he didn’t deny that the pregnancy is caused by him,right..I kept asking him for a little bit of money bcause he works,to see the doctor because I don’t like to see my mother suffer so much and yet I’m not the only one to be supported in the house,and yet he always kept saying he didn’t have it,I mean OMG,where did it all go…my dad doesn’t know about my pregnancy yet as it might probably give him a “heart attack” coz he looks forward for a brighter future for me,I’m only 19 by the way,I didn’t plan for this to happen,I was looking to be independant first and I was dumb enough not to tell him to use protection,if only I used it,I’m so sad and stressed..I’m still under my parent’s care,if only my ex boyfriend now,was there for me to begin with and told his family,its like 4months now and nobody in his family knows,we’ve been telling him for several times now,my mother and i but he didn’t wana budge,this would of not been happening and things would be perfect,now I don’t know how my father will take this,coz I just got bloody fed up by my ex boyfriend not being there for me,and not being supportive because now it ironically seems like my mother’s the one that inpregnated me in some way because she’s the one doing everything,from being my mother aand playing the role that he was supposed to be playing,except intimicy though,so I dumped him..and yet he didn’t seem to care,I just wish I wasn’t as young and bound to be a mother (single mother) rather,soon so I think I set him free now cause I realise its what he wanted he just didn’t have the guts to walk!I think my baby and I will be fine without him bcause he wasn’t supportive anyway..goodluck to all you other single mothers out there.
me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 10 years, we have a six year old daughter together and i am pregnant with my second a little boy, in the last 10 years he has cheated with two different girls, both got pregnant one had an abortion and the other keep the kid and he now has a two year old with him, she just had a newborn baby boy about a month old, says it is his, for the longest time he told me it wasn’t till a few days ago he said there is a possibility that it is his. i just don’t understand if you say you love them then how could you put them through all this pain. i broke up with him. i told him that he really doesn’t love me or this other woman and he only cares about himself. he has lied to us both for years. i am ready to wake up from this nightmare, MEN SUCK
To all the single mother’s there.We have to be strong for our babie’s sake.Me and my boyfriend been dating a while now and we had sex ,for me it was my first time and I used the MAP bt mayb t ddnt work.We wer in a long distance relationshp,so I finded out that am pregnant when I was staying at home.He told me its us againts the world,we will survive.Ever since I told him abt the pregnancy hes been silent and he told me he cheated.He was never ther at d beggining am nw 5mnths an he jst calld to tell me the long dstanc is killing him and we cant fix things.Now am jst alone and my frnds with mom and my siblings.Its all gunna work out,be happy that he showed what he really is now than you hoping things will work out.God wont give us challenges that are bigger than us.
Hey ladies,
I feel your pain! I’m now within 3 weeks of my due date and been broken up with my now ex boyfriend since month 5. It’s been difficult before…when I told him I was pregnant he cried…not the happy kind but the “my life is over” kind. We shortly discussed an abortion but I’m 28 years old…old enough to take responsibilities like that…plus you never know what happens in life…when and if one will ever be able to get pregnant again…abortion is always a risk. Also…I couldn’t kill something that’s growing to live inside of me.
Anywho…it was hard before that and it got harder still. He distanced himself more and more…has been seeking advice, emotional hold, solace and feelings with another woman instead of talking to me at all…as it turned out for months…not really at least…never trying to work things out…which is the only thing I really hold against him. I begged him over and over again to break it off if he’s not sure whether or not he loves me or not, to end this torture, to leave me be if he doesn’t want me. But he didn’t. I had to end it, pregnant, scared, alone… because he was too much of a coward.
It’s been a few months since the official break and we’ve tried to find a common ground to be there as parents who don’t have to grind their teeth every time they see each other…but still…it hurts so much, and I feel like the crazy ex girl friend who, every now and then, lashes out in an overly emotional way…but…he left me…he left us…he didn’t even try…didn’t even try to fix things for our girl.
Am I allowed to be hurt, angry, resentful? I feel like he stole a life from me…the family we actually both wanted…the family he never had… and the new life, my little girl, is not yet here to fill that void…I’m in limbo, waiting for the old life to die for good…and it’s unbearable. It’s only a few weeks away and my life will change for good and hopefully for the better but it still feels so far away…each day longer and lonelier than the last…and as sad and as horrible as it sounds I often wish that he wasn’t the father of my child…wish for someone to love me back…to fight for me and us…someone who is more mature…to be the father…I know that my Josephine wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t for him. But I can’t stand the sadness anymore that’s been following me around. I know it will end someday…that better days will come…but it feels like it won’t…it feels like a weight dragging me deeper down. I’ve tried to get better and it felt like I did. But since I’m on maternity leave and have loads of time to think it’s gotten worse.
I know there’s nothing but time that’ll help me. No comforting words, no wisdom to help me get through this.
My broken heart and pride will heal…I’m just so darn tired of waiting.
Love to all those who have to deal with this difficult time. I’m sure none of us have imagined life to be like this. Soon we don’t have to be strong for ourselves anymore only for our little ones…maybe that’ll help us get through this…to focus on this little bit of life depending on us.
Cheers and a better new year!
Twitter @ Kadele Izzy
Kadele,
I soooooooo identify with your story its almost identical to mine. The only thing that I would add was that our relationship wasn’t always the “honeymoon” phase, sometimes we argued…but from my optic I thought that loved remained nonetheless. Looking back, there were several times during the relationship where his actions seemed that his focus wasnt as strong and dedicated as mine, but I stayed nonetheless believing in hope. As you mentioned, not soon after I shared with him the pregnancy news he began to become distant and decided the relationship was not for him anymore. He even said that he honestly didnt want to be in a relationship for sometime. As you all know, the news that he doesnt want to be together is heart breaking. I too, have felt all of the same emotions you’ve mentioned and feel equally guilty for not loving my unborn child as much as I should. But I’m working on it. I’m about 3 months pregnant and to his credit he says he wants to be a great dad, etc…but there’s no mention of us. As a woman close to her mid 30′s, “first-time” mom-to-be, educated, traveled the world and in this situation feels all to weird. Especially when you’ve made decisions in life that you hoped would lead to much different. In fact, the same for all of the women in this blog. But, life must go on and my faith tells me that things will get better. It may not be exactly how I designed it, but I know our babies will bring more joy than we ever imagined. I’m glad that I found this forum, that I could humbly express my inner thoughts to complete strangers.
Kadele,
Thanks for your sharing your story. Your story inspired me to tell mine. I pray your in a happier place.
@Izzy,
I pray you find support and this post finds you too in a happier place, confident of yourself, and the motivation to make a rough situation a beautiful one.
My prayer is that my words boomerang to all of you in this post and back to me as well!
My boyfriend and i met over a year ago fell inlove blah blah, thought he was best guy id ever met. he was so good to me. we lived 6 hours away so i ended up moving up to where he was with him and his parents and got a job was there for a few months, we were so happy. I found out i was pregnant we both were so shocked and didnt know what to do, i never ever in my life wanted kids, i was only 18 he was 19, he told me he wanted me to keep it, so i couldnt really get rid of something that was he’s too right? so i kept it for him, worst thing i could have ever, ever done. We ended up moving to where i came from so i could be with my mum for help with the baby because he’s mum didnt want us to have it so she wouldnt have helped. he got a job here he lived with hes nan i lived with my mum because we couldnt afford anything just yet. he was really good to me but then everything started going back as soon as pregnancy became reality all we did was fight and fight in the last four months we’ve broken up about 10 times. we cant be with each other we cant be without, we really do love each other but he just started not being there enough, accusing me of not caring about him or loving him when thats how i felt. i felt like he didnt care about me but he kept telling me im the only thing he cared about. we argued these types of things over and over , I get 130 dollars a fortnight of centrelink and have bought pretty much everything for our baby that he ‘wanted’ and leave myself with nothing for two weeks its the hardest thing ive gone through, he has a job and wont buy anything unless i ask. i have never been so depressed in my life i was always happy woth my friends i loved my life. im now 7 months pregnant and wish i wasnt even alive. i cant deal with anything i cry over nothing and today i ended us for good, but i feel so empty and sick i just dont know what to do, i can’t go do anything because im pregnant, no understands, i dont realy talk to my friends that much since i got pregnant. i just cant do it anymore i feel empty without him but we just cant agree on anything anymore its wrecked me ill never be the same person again. i need help
My baby daddy broke up with me on the 01 Jan 2013. I’m 23 weeks pregnant. I’m so emotional I struggle to sleep @ night. What’s confusing his talk about the buying the baby cot travel, so that when we visit him. The baby should be confortable. How do I left go in this case. I really have strong feelings for him, but the pain.
I also have broken up with the father of my children and am currently 6 months pregnant, this all happened around 3 weeks ago. But to be honest, it’s never ever been perfect and he’s always been a lot selfish and completely justifies every bit of bad behaviour (he’s kicked both she and I out on the street previously, admitted to sleeping around, just a complete maggot in the man dept) and spite towards me and our little 3 year old girl. I really really can’t wait to have the baby, due around May, and hope that I can just give them a happy little platform to live out their short little childhoods. I have support through family and a freind and am setting up counselling, but really, this is just going to be hard, both physically and mentally. Mind you, still working, but on Mat leave in a month…
He ofcourse is flirting up a storm and adding chicks on FB, which I have blocked him from as he had the audacity, with our family pics all over his profile to announce happily, that he was separated :-/ Like he was kinda proud to be this sicko little freak who leaves pregnant woman and his own flesh n blood to chase booty??? So.. Long story short, this is the end (always seems the slowest of any journey) of a long journey, but one that I will ensure, has a lovely outcome for me and my girls… That son of bitch has been advised that I look forward to hearing from a lawyer his proposal for visitation, but to be honest, I really don’t think I’ll be hearing from him… haha I am planning on a gorgeous holiday at the end of the year, with no children, as a reward for what I’m sure will be a terribly HARD slog… Good luck to anyone going through anything like this. I’m simply stunned that it is this common??? Terrible sign of how society and particularly men, are fucking up many many women and childrens lives out of their own damn ego’s and wants! Can’t wait to celebrate the birth of a beautiful little girl soon with a HUGE glass of wine!! F#ck them… And also, I prefer to look at our little grieving stage as a very loud “gap” in our lives left by him, even if he wasn’t the best person for us, which both me and my daughter can feel, which is sad, but something that both she and I can “fill” with new things and people that won’t let us down!!! And this phase certainly will not last forever!! I really look forward to being treated really well again, and also with respect. Good riddance to bad rubbish…
I’m currently 24 weeks along and now single. I was with the father for 8 months prior to becoming pregnant. I found out a day after my 30th birthday, and just a couple days after his birthday. The worst part about our break off is we both work at the same company and have to see eachother everyday. Rumors are circulating around work of course, lots of them being true, but him and I are both denying the rumors. I can’t leave my job due to needing maternity leave this June. He doesn’t want to leave since he has a cushioned job as a supervisor in his department. He already has a daughter and when I told him(in October) to expect a baby with me next summer, he immediately broke down even though we wanted to start trying to conceive. We didn’t expect it to be so soon since I’ve had so many problems in the past with not conceiving. He wanted me to abort and at the time, I agreed. Then the money issues of trying to pay for the procedure were too much and neither of us was able to come up with the money. We broke off from eachother for 6 weeks, shortly into December. He decided to try communicating again with me a few weeks ago, hoping I was now able to go through with an abortion. Of course, I’m too far along for myself to allow it and the cost is even greater than before. Now all of a sudden the rumors at work are getting worse and he can’t handle us being together. He wants to blame me for spreading rumors and possibly putting his job in jeopardy…I get all the blame for everything that has happened even though it took 2! I still am having a difficult time connecting with the baby, I don’t feel like it’s there, like it’s real. I keep thinking something will go wrong with the pregnancy so I don’t want to get emotionally attached. My family is excited to have the baby in their lives, but he doesn’t want his family or himself to be involved. I’m lost on how to connect with this child….my emotions are shut down and I don’t know how to reopen them
My boyfriend of 5 years dumped me on valentines day. i am 7 months pregnant. we didn’t plan on the pregnancy but he was so happy and exited when we found out while i was more reserved. we lived together and had a dog… we were a family. he said that things had changed and that he wasn’t happy anymore and that neither was I. i feel devastated and just can’t comprehend why he would do this at such a time. he bought me a huge valentines day gift and a lovely card, we had just set up the crib and he was so exited. i don’t know what went through his head and i feel hopeless. our lives are totally intertwined, we have the same friends, he works for my dad and just kept saying that he doesn’t want me to take his daughter away but right now i just can’t seem to figure out how keep going if i have to see him all the time. he is the love of my life and i don’t know what to do… i am lost… i just want my bubba back…
He was the one talking about the baby and a family. That I’m the one he would ever want to have a family and that I’m the only one he would see as a mother for his kids. I got pregnant, he was surprised but happy. After some time he became distant, he didn’t want to know about my emotions nor need for support. Now, at week 24, he declared that he decided already few months ago that he’ll be there for the baby and he accepts our relationship as parents but he doesn’t see us together. He’s distant, buzy with his career and hobbies, acts very rational, cold and careless.
How could it ever work out he being only a dad!? There’s a mom inbetween at least in the beginning!? It feels bad, embarrassing, makes me cry a lot and worst of all, I feel sorry for this little unborn boy for causing him such stress…
Well i am the guy and my pregnant gf dumped me and hasnt talked or returned my calls in 3 weeks…
Towards end of rel i was moddy n depressed bevause of my buisness failing and i took it out on her..
Then she broke up with me. And week later she found out she was pregnant… we tried and had one little disagreement and since then she has completely shut me out..
Im taking steps to change, i want our rel and family to work… im sad n heartbroken everyday i can hardly function…
I dont understand how somebody can be so cruel and just shut me out.. not even talk to me..
Some say it her hormones.. i dont know this sucks..
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated