Divorce cakes?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Relationships
When I first read about this new trend of women celebrating their divorces — with cakes! — I thought the idea was hilarious.
How can you NOT laugh at the cake (above) in which the ex-wife is taking the garbage out. Get it?
And check out my favorite cake — via the Daily Mail – in which a woman is pushing her ex OFF the cake. Ha.
When I first heard about these break-up cakes, it seemed like the most positive, light-hearted way to say goodbye to your pain and celebrate your new journey with friends.
But that’s when Dr. Leah, aka The Sanity Fairy, chimed in about the reality of these “celebrations” if you have kids.
Sure, having a break up party with an outrageous cake might be a great way to celebrate the end of your relationship, she told me. Especially if the legal wranglings were seemingly endless, this could be a symbolic way to move on.
However, Dr. Leah warns:
“If you feel that a “divorce party” is something you want, make sure that your kids are NOT invited.”
How true: it might be all light for you, but your kids would see things in an entirely different way. Surely, they would be hurt and confused by your celebration of an event that has been devastating to them.
“That why you need to seriously consider your kids’ feelings if you’re planning such a party,” Dr. Leah adds.
We’re sure that you have something to say about this:
If you’re in the middle of a divorce, have you considered baking a cake to celebrate?
If you’ve gone through a divorce and could turn the clocks back, would you have thrown a “break up party” like this?
(Photo courtesy of Bandit 37804 via Flickr)
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Twitter @ thepartyanimal
I have seen some of those cakes before – they are so funny and perfect if you are celebrating that event. I say Kudos to those who have a sense of humor.
The Party Animal´s last blog ..Kids Birthday Party Planning Tips from The Party Animal
Twitter @ mskat
I got divorced in 1994, long before people started making actual divorce cakes, but I did celebrate my divorce with a cake and my best friend.
We both had babysitters for our kids for the night, we grabbed a cheap little Pepperidge Farm chocolate cake, a bottle of wine, and we celebrated my divorce.
I saw nothing wrong with it then, and nothing wrong with it now, but I DO agree with Dr. Leah, the children should not be present during the celebration.
It is the parent’s divorce, not the divorce of the entire family.
The mom and dad got divorced, but hopefully, the kids still have a relationship with their father, so having a divorce cake and party in front of the kids is totally inappropriate.
Kat´s last blog ..Shopping, decorating, and no sleep.
Twitter @ http://lovebabz.blogspot.com
I am with you Dr. Leah…protect your kids. I say celebrate…swing from the chandeliers if that’s your deal. For me it was very sad occassion. I did not want to get divorced. But I will say that I am celebrating my life now. I am the Captain of my ship! I am Queen of my continent. So I don’t need a funny cake to celebrate my liberation….(will take a fine bottle of champagne and a very handsome man thank you!) at the end of the day… its all about who you want to be in your own life story. I am choosing to not see my marriage and divorce as a mistake…how can it be…I was blessed with 4 kids. So celebrate if you must…I tip my flute to you.
Lovebabz´s last blog ..LOVETALK RADIO DECEMBER 2009 SCHEDULE
Twitter @ singlemomchrons
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Ok, fine, I admit to celebrating…me and 10 girlfriends went out for tapas…my daughter was at her dad’s place, and an infant at the time. So, she never hear about it. But it was SUCH a momentous event…I couldn’t let it pass without a little sangria. I’m human
Swati
Swati Bharteey´s last blog ..Are You Doing Too Much?
Twitter @ SuziPR
The divorce cake saga really worries us at the Starting Over Show. A divorce can be the perfect time to ‘start over’ and try new things, or start a new career, and people often find they are happier with their new life once they have moved on. What really worries us is that women would order a cake depicting a bride stabbing the groom – that really goes too far and if you feel that way about your partner – especially if there are children involved -you need help ‘letting go’ and moving on. That’s why Suzy Miller created the Starting Over Show – to give men and women the tools they need to get through one of life’s most painful experiences.
Welcome @Suzi Christie to our Singlemommyhood community. We have several UK bloggers in our community as well as friends who visit. Perhaps, they have tuned into your show. We haven’t heard of whiff from any of our readers about a cake depicting violence. Our readers *YEAH* are all about celebrating this new life beginning in a kid-free way.
Twitter @ tailgatingtimes
I actually think that many of these cakes aren’t really funny. Maybe in a macabre sense like the movie “War of the Roses” but while moving on is a good thing, divorce marks the end of a marriage and it is very sad that people don’t take vows seriously anymore and view ending what’s supposed to be a lifelong commitment as “taking out the trash”.
Steve: We understand. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
I think the cakes are hilarious and all in good fun. They can also go both ways – ex husbands can do this too.
I have been to a divorce party, complete with cake AND pinata (a “donkey” with a pic of the ex’s face on it). It was a blast. I do agree tthat he kids should not only NOT be a part of it and should not even get wind of it either. It is strictly adult fun.
As for me, my divorce was final (signed by the judge) on Dec 31, 2002. I was off celebrating New Years Eve with friends and didn’t know the papers had been signed till I got back home and opened my mail several days later. And now I have one more reason to celebrate on NYE!
MindyMom/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Getting What We Want
Twitter @ solomother
OH, I remember coming across those divorce cakes when I first started Solomother, darn, they have gotten good!
When I first saw them I thought that a divorce party would be a great way to celebrate. But now? I just want the whole thing to be over with. Since I’m the only one paying anything towards a divorce, it has taken us a long time to get to the almost signing the papers stage.
Solomother´s last blog ..What to do when your children don’t want to go?
Twitter @ http://singlemomscircus.wordpress.com/
I had a divorce party I guess you could say on what would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. We were separated and in divorce proceedings. I felt that the day should be marked in some way. So, some of my girlfriends, my mom and I went out for fondue, drinks, and dancing. We called it my “10 Year Non-Anniversary Celebration.” Just like we celebrate all the other milestones in our life, I think it is healthy to mark this occasion, whether it was a welcome change or not. Put a positive spin on it and focus on the world of endless possibilities that your life now has to offer. You can now make your life out to be what ever it is you always wanted. If you’re losing what you thought you always wanted, then it wasn’t that thing in the first place and now you are free to seek the real thing out!