Are you a choice mom?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Choice Moms
Despite our solo mom status, we’ve got much to learn about the special challenges choice moms face. No topic is “off limits” in our Singlemommyhood community: from where to hide the sex toys to how to manage breastfeeding and a career, we’re ready to lead the conversation.
We genuinely applaud women who’ve decided to become moms on their own from the very start. Although neither of us is technically a “choice mom,” both of us have always felt a kind of sisterhood with this group of single women who chose to become moms on their own, either via a donor or adoption.
On that note, we were thrilled to read the New York Times feature last weekend about the three single women who’ve written a new book – Three Wishes — about their story of passing donor sperm from one to the other. And the weekend before that, Rachel attended a buzzing Choice Moms event in San Francisco where like-minded women who were either thinking, trying, waiting — or had already become single mothers by choice — got together to network.
If you’re one of these women, we’d love to hear from you!
We put the word out on Twitter to meet some of the choice moms — or women who are trying — in our community. We’d love to add your link to our “neighborhood” page!
If you have a moment, drop by and say “hello!”
If you’re a choice mom, please leave a comment here…Welcome Home!
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Photo courtesy of 31 Experiment
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Twitter @ NCCathi
Hey there!
Great to see the Single Mommy community reaching out to Choice Moms. Although we may have taken very different paths to get here, there is a lot we have in common and a lot we can share and learn from each other. Being a single parent is tough for anyone, whether it was by choice or not, and I look forward to participating in this community.
Cathi, SMBC to 2-year old Jenny
Cathi´s last blog ..Party of Two
Rachel Sarah, thanks for the shout out!!
I am a choice mommy and proud of it. After being married for approx 5.5 years and losing 2 baby boys with my ex-husband, I decided that I could not wait to be a mother anymore. My clock was tickin away. So, I did research, read books, went to workshops, etc. and on August 30, 2007 I was inseminated with open id donor sperm. I will never forget the fact that it was August 30 because that is my wedding anniversary. Yes sirree bob, I was inseminated with a stranger’s sperm on the day of my anniversary. Ironic or what? lol. 
I was 40 years old when the absolute love of my life, Megan Audrey, was born. I am 42 now and my life has never been the same. It is such an honour and a joy to be raising this little munchkin and to watch her grow and laugh and discover the world. It is also such a relief to be out of a bad marriage. I feel free and alive and frankly, I want another one and I will be trying again in the fall!! Woohoo!! Wish me luck.
I am very cautiously optimistic because at 43 (I will be 43 when I try again) I am certainly no spring chicken. I am also contemplating international adoption. I would adopt an older child though. Probably between 3 – 5.
So, anyway, that is my story. Thanks for asking!!
Denise, Choice mom to the most beautiful and amazing girl in the whole wide world.
Twitter @ http://notyouraveragesinglemama.com
I never planned on marriage or children. I planned on pursuing a career.
Plans changed when I fell for a man with dark eyes. We made plans together, plans that one day we would have children. We also discussed in length the importance of a father in a childs life. He wanted to and had great potential to be a good father…until he discovered meth. Plans changed yet again.
I went through my pregnancy thinking, wishing, praying he would put down the pipe so we could be the family we had talked about….but he never did.
The day I brought the PIT home from the hospital was the day that I made my choice.
As if having a slumber party with not one but two skanks in MY house wasn’t bad enough….that wasn’t what made me snap (entirely) In a very lame attempt at ass kissing he offered to feed the baby while I peed (how fucking thoughtful right, feed your own baby-how noble dink) When I went into the PITs nursery I saw her in her cradle but my alleged husband wasn’t around. How was the baby being fed you ask? Simple. (Here’s where I snap) My newborn baby, snug and cozy in her cradle with a bottle propped up on a fucking pillow. UM.What.the.fuck?! That is NOT feeding a baby and someones ass was about to be grass. After I properly fed MY child & burped her I snuggled her back into her cradle…bottle and pillowless. I then went in search of the fuckwad I married. He was in the basement. It was a huge basement..pool table, darts, etc but where did I find him? In the one tiny room/storage shelter in the basement. The meth room I assume. I assumed this because when I went to the door it was locked….like REALLY locked. Long story short…I broke the door, threw his clothes and his methaddicted ass out on the street.
When I finished, I thought to myself…fuck this…I’m going to do this myself and I’ll do it far better solo than one parent & one drug addict together
THAT was the moment I became a choice mom. Not what I had intended but considering my other options….I know that I have made the right choice for both me and my girl.
Plus- I paid big money to terminate his rights so technically…legally…he is simply a dna donor. Thanks for the sperm but I’ll take it from here
singlemama_cc´s last blog ..#TMI Tuesday gets blingafied
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
singlemama_cc — I hate to break it to you, but you are not a choice mom. You are a divorced mom with full custody.
Big difference.
Being in a bad marriage or mating with the wrong person is not the same as making a conscious decision to have a baby on your own with no mate at all.
You may terminate his rights legally, but — he is still the father (even if in sperm only). Don’t be surprised when your baby asks about him one day — or wants to meet him. She will.
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The upside of being a choice mom
Twitter @ http://notyouraveragesinglemama.com
As I said from the start-I never intended to be a mother at all. I never intended to be a choice mom. A divorced mom with full custody? Laughable and somewhat insulting considering what I went through to get where I am today. Legally, a single mother by choice because the alternative was death by meth. From a judgmental point of view I suppose I am not a ‘choice’ mom. I’m a mother who “mated with the wrong person” (your judgment is showing)
Actually there is quite a story that goes with my CHOICE to be a mother–SOLO. Full custody my ass. Try again. He is legally nothing more that a dna donor, I have all the legal documents to prove just that.
And this…
“You may terminate his rights legally, but — he is still the father (even if in sperm only). Don’t be surprised when your baby asks about him one day — or wants to meet him. She will.”
Again thank you for your judgmental perspective. Duly noted & forgotten.
I’d waste my time defending myself here but it’s a gorgeous day out and I’m taking my girl to the beach.
I’ll leave you to read this. Like it or not..DNA doesnt make a father
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/05/chapter-9final-in-the-book-of-meth/
Oh and I’ll be sure and act TOTALLY surprised when she asks about him…like that hasn’t already happened..oh wait-it did and we made it through just like we will continue to do.
Thanks for the chuckle….you’re judgmental point of view made me giggle.
Now, off to the beach~
singlemama_cc´s last blog ..#TMI Tuesday gets blingafied
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
Oh my. I don’t mean to be judgmental.
“It is also such a relief to be out of a bad marriage. ”
Direct quote from Denise.
And, you’re right;I misunderstood when you called your ex a “skanks”,”the fuckwad I married.” “drug addict” and “simply a dna donor.” I apologize.
And, I wasn’t assuming that your daughter hadn’t asked (although, it appeared by what you wrote that she was still a baby); still, kids feel the hole of a parent’s loss (however that loss happens) lifelong. There’s plenty of research out there to back it up if you think I’m being judgmental.
People make mistakes and become addicted and do a lot of stupid shit, and sometimes they get better. Who knows — your ex may clean up his act one day and hope to make amends with his daughter. Would you help make that happen?
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The upside of being a choice mom
Twitter @ http://notyouraveragesinglemama.com
What makes you think I didn’t try to get him help, make amends and attempt to make contact with his family so that she would at least know some of his family even though he wasn’t well enough to be around her. We’ve been there and done that.
stats also show that meth is incredibly dangerous and damaging. It can have irreversible damaging effects on a persons brain. Some addicts do clean up. My cousin hasn’t touched the shit since he got out of prison. There is a point of no return for some addicts.
Also, it was his call, his request to cut all ties with us. I was more than happy to make that happen.
When my daughter is old enough to understand the concept of meth, gangs, armed robbery and prison, we’ll discuss it and if she wants to seek him out…so be it. I’ll take her to his prison cell or grave when the time comes.
The man that I married and the man I divorced were very different people in one body. I refer to him as fuckwad & he-whore because that is what he became. Had he been that when we met at 17…things would have been different.
Such is life. Roll with it…adjust and make the best of it. That was my choice. If by your standards that doesn’t make me a choice mom then so be it. I don’t live to meet anyones standards but my own.
singlemama_cc´s last blog ..#TMI Tuesday gets blingafied
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
My definition of a Choice Mom is someone who proactively chooses motherhood, despite the lack of a lifetime partner. My emphasis is on choosing to be a mother, rather than choosing to be single.
— “Choosing Single Motherhood” author Mikki Morrissette
I think that’s generally the overwhelming agreed upon definition of “choice” mother vs. single mother, divorced mother, teen mother and plain ol’ mother.
Not “my standards,” but the choice mother community’s standards, or definition.
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The upside of being a choice mom
Twitter @ mom2themonsters
As you know ,I’m a choice mom through adoption!
Mommy to the Monsters´s last blog ..New Jersey, New York and Back to Maryland
Ladies, please can we clean up the language and stop the bickering?
I think the intention was to make a shout out to all choice moms and to show support for choice mothers. And for the record, I was separated when I decided to pursue choice motherhood, so there was a definite lack of a lifetime partner. So, yes, I am a choice mom.
Anyways, let us keep things friendly and focus on the POSITIVE.
Twitter @ http://notyouraveragesinglemama.com
I could clean up my language but I won’t. The bickering can quit.
It’s clear that in the “choice mom” community there is no room, nor support for “single mother, divorced mother, teen mother and plain ol’ mothers”
Plain ol’ mothers? That’s rather insulting don’t you think. Being a mother, regardless of how it’s done is one hell of a job and I don’t think any ‘plain ol’ woman’ could do it. I don’t know any “plain ol’ mothers”, the mothers I know are fascinating and passionate creatures and to call them anything less than a MOTHER is a kick in the teeth.
singlemama_cc´s last blog ..#TMI Tuesday gets blingafied
I am single mother by choice of a beautiful two year old girl. I had always wanted to be a mother but my long term relationships did not pan out into a lifetime of happimess. I decided at 36 that I did not need someone else in my life in order to have a child! I have supportive family and friends so why not make my dream come true! It isn’t always easy but it is the best decision I have ever made and one I would recommend to any woman who is comsidering it!
Dana: Welcome! Your encouraging and POSITIVE words are appreciated. Please do visit often.
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
Dr. Leah et al,
I think focusing on the positive is very nice, but what we all should be doing is focusing on the reality, and reality always has pros and cons.
We actually do a disservice to all mothers — and fathers — if we only discuss what’s “positive” about parenting. I’m no fan of Lori Gottlieb, and I’m not saying that she represent choice moms everywhere, but even in “Marry Him” she writes how she got swept up in all the positives of the choice mom movement (if you can call it a movement). Now that she’s a few years into it, reality has hit. She doesn’t regret it, but she’s seeing things she didn’t consider before. Aka the cons. Reality.
I quote Mikki Morrissette because I believe she is — or at least has been — a leader for choice moms. I think labels are silly, but please don’t shoot the messenger if one points out that choice moms themselves wish to distinguish themselves from other moms.
You can support choice moms, and moms in general, at the same time that you’re talking about reality — positives and negatives. One does not exclude the other. And if you read the blogs of single moms — even Rachel’s — you’ll see how many moms themselves are focusing on the “negatives,” or the hardships of raising a kid by themselves and dating and finding a partner and dealing with exes, etc.
What is being excluded is the discussion of the importance of a father in a child’s life. One may decide at age whatever that “I did not need someone else in my life in order to have a child!” but I’ll bet you that child will, one day, feel differently. Obviously, some men are not good dads and may never be, and now that I’ve read singlemama_cc’s story, I have huge empathy for her situation. But, she’s not a choice mom — she got divorced, as I did. It’s different, and a very important distinction.
Moms who decide that they want to have a baby on their own must look at what it means to not have a father in the picture because there are many studies about that. I don’t know if that’s keeping the discussion “positive” or “negative” — but it’s keeping it real.
Anyway, I am — generally — a very positive person, and I am very supportive of my divorced (and married) friends. But supporting each other means being honest, too. Parents need real support, not a community of Yes Women.
Respectfully,
Kat, a proud plain ol’ mom
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The upside of being a choice mom
I don’t think that many choice moms get swept up in the “movement” or make the decision lightly. (In fact many of them do more research, preparation etc than other parents. How many “typical moms” have to prove they are fit to be a mom? How many need approval before they are “allowed” to get pregnant? Being a choice mom I was required to have the medical and psychological testing to prove it!”) Most woman are aware of many of the pros and cons of the experience and are reminded of both areas(pro and con) everyday of our child’s life! To me ,that does not make the experience any less positive or worth while! I am an special educator and deal with children of many different abilities and family situations. I researched , and spoke to other mothers ( choice, single, married, divorced etc.) before I went ahead and had my daughter. I have seen the studies for and against my decision. I have heard the discussions about the importance of a father in a child’s life. However I do not feel I have deprieved my daughter of anything because of my choice to be a single parent/choice mom. I have created a very strong network of family and friends ( male and female role models) that my daughter has relationships with. Granted these relationships are different than the traditional roles of mother and father..yet they still provide the same love, safety, support , nurturing etc that those roles provide in traditional families.
This doesn’t mean that everyday is perfect and that I have all the answers! I experience as many doubts, worries, insecurities,struggles (be they different or the same) as any other woman (or man) who is raising a child(as a couple or an individual). Choice moms deal with all of the regular ups and downs of motherhood, plus the added questions about dad, choice mommyhood, approving and disapproving commentary/stares from the outside world,research/reports, What to do on Father’s Day, How much to tell or not tell at school and a million other questions and concerns on a daily basis. Yet none of these concerns, questions, studies, smiles, stares or glares would make me do one step of this journey differently than I have done it! My daughter is my greatest joy in life and I would not choose to wait and have a child in a tradition family and risk not having her in my life. Single motherhood/fatherhood is tough.. there is not doubt about that..but it is still the most worthwhile thing you will ever do!So in my heart I know that choice parents…and the majority of all parents go into the world of parenting with their eyes, hearts and minds open. (That is not a disservice to anyone..especially the children.)
Honestly, I think it depends on the situation and how you CHOOSE to view it. When people complain about how hard single parenting is, I must say that I disagree. I honestly love it and after everything that I have been through (the loss of 2 baby boys and the loss of a marriage) I feel totally blessed to have my daughter in my life. And yes, I am human and I get tired and of course, my daughter has her irritating times with the “terrible” twos, but 85% of the time I can honestly say that I love parenting.
And frankly, I grew up with both parents and I had a HELLUVA time when my parents divorced. My father wound up with someone who was not a nice person and he went on to have a second family and basically shoved his first family onto the back burner. That was extremely painful for me and so I feel that coming from a broken home is much much worse than not having your father in your life from day 1. Donor kids are not from broken homes, they never had their father there in the first place – totally totally different scenario. And please, I am not implying that they won’t have problems but frankly, who’s life is problem free??
I think that the point is that regardless, noone’s life is perfect and it basically comes down to your attitude. Are you going to view your glass as half empty or as half full? It is entirely YOUR choice. I have known of people with horrible lives who pick themselves up and move on to become successful and conversely people who supposedly have “everything” (yes a mother AND a father) but go down the tube with drugs, alcohol, and even suicide. So, I honestly believe it boils down to your attitude and your self-confidence (or lack thereof).
I’d like to clarify a bit on studies of “fatherless” children. @KatWilder is correct that there have been “countless studies”. But, these studies have been primarily conducted with teen-aged single moms. So, while the outcome data (i.e., how the kids turn out) are not good … higher rates of drug/alcohol abuse, poor school achievement/dropping out, incarceration … these data reflect poverty, lack of education, immaturity, and limited overall opportunity, NOT the absence of a father in the home. None of us advocate children having children.
The whole research thing is more complicated than you might originally think. For example, researchers interested in the “father” topic must first decide what “fatherless” means … does it mean the biological father does not live with the child? Or his parental rights have been terminated? Or he just emails or drops in from time to time without any emotional connection?
The research data about children growing up in single parent homes do strongly suggest that, if there are sufficient financial resources and strong social connections and community support, children growing up in single parent homes have the same shot at productive, useful, and satisfying lives as do children growing up with both biological parents.
Providing “real life” parents with added opportunities for strong social connections and community support is what we’re all about @Singlemommyhood.
Denise well said. I totally agree!!!!
I am a single mum – not a mum by choice but soon after finding out I was pregnant I chose to be single! My boy is one and my ex does nothing but harrasess me abuses me is neglectful to my son and yet stands in court to fight for his right to be a father!! He has nothing positive to offer my child and please don’t think I am just angry or vindictive I have tried for 12 months to better our relationship so our boy can have two parents but it only stays good for a wk or two at a time! My point is to Kat and even singlemamma cc – don’t fight some of us have too much fight on our hands already! And kat if I had the blessing of hindsight I would have choosen to this all on my own! Yes then bub doesn’t have a dad but that doesn’t mean they don’t have strong good male role models in their life! And let me tell u having dad would be great if the man was up to a responsibility but just having sperm doesn’t make u a good candidat to raise a child!!
I know with all my heart if I was wasting time money and stress on my ex I would be a much better mother to my most amazing child. So let’s all just support each other cause whatever situations or choices brought us here to single mummy hood – girls we got a long hard road ahead!!
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
Dr. Leah, Denise, Dana,
I appreciate your thoughtful responses. I do agree — a network of community is important for all parents, not just single and choice moms. But, as I ask on my blog today, a response to this very discussion and one at the Advice Goddess, are fathers irrelevant? As a mom of a son and a daughter, I don’t think they are.
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Are fathers irrelevant?
Twitter @ http://katwilder.com/
Oops, I meant As a mom of a son and a daughter of a father. More coffee!!
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Are fathers irrelevant?
I found out I was pregnant two weeks after conception. I decided at that moment that I was going to become a single mother. The baby’s father was notified of that decision and has never questioned or fought it. I went through my pregnancy surrounded by friends that loved me. My best friend held my hand while I gave birth and cut the umbilical cord. I have raised my son for the last two years surrounding my son with positive male influences and role models that he loves and by family that he can’t question. My own family unit wasn’t traditional and neither is my son’s. I may not be a “choice mom” because I didn’t decide when I was going to get pregnant. I am a “decision by suprise” mom and I don’t regret it for a second. My baby boy is the best thing that has ever come into my life. I think that a lot of women end up in the same place by taking a lot of different roads. I think that deciding to be a single mother is the single most terrifying desicion a woman can make, and that is whether you choose to get pregnant alone, choose to raise the baby by yourself, or choose to leave your partner for any reason. I think the single mothers I know and meet are the bravest and strongest women that are in the world, no matter how they got here. I’m just glad to have a way to find support where people will be understanding and supportive because as a young single mother I get judged and scolded every single day of my life on how I am ultimately hurting my son. I have been lectured so many times on how selfish it is not to hunt down my son’s father and force him to be part of our lives. I have been berated for not settling down with the first man that will take me…choice mom or not, I’m just grateful that there is a network of women who make me feel a little less alone.
Last every single one of us at some point is going to have to answer the “daddy question”. Divorce or insemination the kids are going to want to understand it. At the end of the day all we can do is show our children how much we love them, let them know that you love them enough for a mommy and daddy, and be as honest as is appropriate. That conversations is not going to be easy but kids that grow up without fathers can turn out perfectly healthy and well adjusted. Stay strong and be prepared for it. I plan on just pointing out all the family and friends that love and surround my son every single day.
Twitter @ http://notyouraveragesinglemama.com
Natasha,
First. #assslap Very well said
Second, thank you for sharing your story with us too. Regardless of how one got to singleparentville, I truly enjoy hearing story behind the mama or papa…
Decision by suprise(love it btw), choice moms, moms with a choice blah blah…lets worry less about what to call one another and just respect each other as PARENTS.
singlemama_cc´s last blog ..Sunshine, swings and smiles (updated)
Twitter @ calliopeblogger
I am a single Mother by choice. I always knew that if I had not married or was in a committed relationship by a certain age that I would look into parenting solo. I did a lot of research, read a lot of books, spoke to my primary doctor, friends, my family.
I sat down at my computer with my Mother next to me and together we looked through the selection of sperm donors at various banks. I probably knew more about these donors than most of the men I had been in relationships with!
It took me five years of trying (13 failed IUI’s, 1 miscarriage after an IVF, and finally success with a frozen embryo transfer) before I realized my dream of becoming a Mother. And just 14 months in it has been everything and more that I had hoped it would be!
It would be nice if this space had some “been there, done that” advice for other single Moms by choice. I am very open with how I conceived my son, but I know not everyone is (or that everyone wants to hear about it!)
At some point I do plan on getting back into the dating world and I would love to hear how other choice Moms (specifically via donor gametes) discussed this with dates or boyfriends. I mean how do you bring it up? & when?
Calliope´s last blog ..Take a Penny: An Open Advice Post
Twitter @ urbanmomsdiy
Very excited to find all these other choice mom bloggers out there. Not sure I’m so excited to read all the back and forth that I just skimmed through above but I will.
Sara´s last blog ..Say The Magic Word
Twitter @ http://jennybeansblog.com
At the age of 38, I decided Romeo wasn’t going to show, and I pursued single motherhood. Fertility treatments ensued, and, finally, through IVF I got pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy. Today, I’m the proud mom of two boys.
You can read about our adventures on my site at http://JennyBeansBlog.com. (I’m a little challenged and can’t figure out how to include my last blog post.)
Cheers!
I’m a single woman on an adoption waiting list. I was 38 when I realized that I might not meet a husband in time to have biological kids – and I really wanted biological kids. I started thinking about all of the aspects of being an SMC – finances, the responsibility, the child’s wellbeing, not having a father, etc. I really wanted the traditional family. So I kept dating, met someone, broke up, kept dating and hoping for the traditional family. Finally at 42.10 I decided it was now or never if I wanted a biological child. I started trying to conceive, but was too late. Words cannot describe the pain I went through – wasn’t it bad enough that I wasn’t going to have a traditional family, now I also couldn’t have biological kids? I was devastated and so angry at God. But after grieving, I realized that I still wanted to be a mom.
I moved to donor eggs only to find that I have an immune issue and kept miscarrying. I moved to adoption one year ago and am now 46.4 and have spent 11 mos on a waiting list. I can’t wait to be a mom, and I am choosing to become an mom, but if I could, I would choose to meet a terrific guy who still wants kids. I am NOT all rah rah about being an SMC and not excited about being part of any movement. Am I glad this is an option for me – of course – at least I’ll get to be a mom! But I would much rather have met a great guy in my 30s, gotten married and had a couple of kids, had two incomes, a second set of hands to help with stuff, etc. I have no rose-colored glasses about how life will be as an SMC – I expect to have moments of joy with my child and moments of loneliness, wistfulness about not meeting someone, frustration about doing it on my own.
Twitter @ n/a
Hello – I’m a single mother by choice and it wasn’t a difficult one. I was told I had PCOS at 27 so it was always in the back of my mind that I needed to think about trying to have kids sooner than later. Problem was, I never met the right guy and time was ticking. So at 34 I decided I couldn’t wait any longer and took the plunge. I’m sure if I didn’t have the support of family and friends I might not have been able to take the plunge so easily. I can understand the difficult in this decision; some of my concerns were monetary (would I be able to give my baby everything he needed?), no daddy (so many studies show potential issues here), and was I going to miss out on parts of his life because of being a full-time working mom? In the end, none of these concerns were enough to hold me back, but I still struggle with them. I just try to remember to take it day to day. I get tired sometimes. I get impatient. I worry a lot. But mostly I am overjoyed and so glad that nowadays this choice is so much more acceptable. People are always inquisitive and want to hear about it. Sometimes when my baby and I are at social events I wince when I see my friend’s husbands scoop up their kids but I know my boy has a lot of love and attention in his life and he’ll be just fine.
Jennifer T: We’re SO excited to hear from you. A baby boy. How wonderful. Please do visit us again soon. We want to know more about you. And, of course, hear the “latest” on your little guy.
I am a single mother by choice to two beautiful daughters age 3 & 1. Having read the above posts from others I wanted to share my choice. I grew up in a traditional home and at a young age (16yrs) I decided that I wanted to adopt. I read all I could on parenting and adoption. My dream to adopt as a single mother was realized at 31yrs and I have been blessed twice over. It is not an easy job and it is not without criticism from others who do not understand. I have never been married and I am secure in that. My girls bring me lots of joy and stress all in one. I do balk at the title of single mom and the stigma that goes with that. I do not wish to upset any single mothers but this was not an accident (unwanted pregnancy that was kept) nor was it a marriage/relationship that went wrong. This was a very distinct choice made by a well educated, hard working woman.
This was a planned out, thought out choice to be a mother!! I have friends that fit in all the categories of parent and I can find ways in which we all can relate to our roles….. except when it comes to the hoops I had to jump through, the months of court dates and the roller coaster journey I was on to obtain my children and be deemed fit as a mother.
Thank you for having a section on being a mother by choice as it is nice to know there are others out there.
To singlemama_cc I would like to say it is a great thing you did for your child by getting her away from a negative role model but please do not minmize the trials mothers by choice go through just to be a mother.
Congratulations to all the mothers by choice and all the best in your parenting.
Shy girl: We are so honored to hear your story. Thanks so much!
Twitter @ ashleysolomon82
I would be a choice mom, but I am losing my baby. We have tried since January to get pregnant (with a good friend of mine being the donor, and after a successful pregnancy test on Monday I am now bleeding.
Ashley: We’re so sorry.