10 top signs you’re wasting your time with the wrong guy
by Dr. Leah
Filed under All, Featured, Relationships
We’re on the record: dating is for grown-ups. And nothing is crazier than the dating scene. Whether you’re still seeing your ex [no judgments] or content with a friend with benefits, only you should make the rules in your life. As responsible parents, however, we must contend with non-negotiable jam packed schedules. So, whether you want a forever love or just crave some *adult* fun, you’ve got to juggle conflicting demands. Wasting time is just not an option.
So, here are our 10 top signs that you’re wasting your time . . .
Sign #1 – A voice mail message does not make you feel warm and happy [yes: that kind of warm . . .]
Sign #2 – A provocative text message does not distract you — even at the predictably boring staff meeting.
Sign # 3 – Picking up his call on your cell does not interrupt your work. You keep plugging on that pile of paperwork.
Sign #4 - Date night finds you wishing you were sharing mac ‘n cheese with your kids. Kid snuggles on the couch seems like a perfect evening.
Sign #5 – When you’re out for the evening, you pick his brain about work. Your head is buzzing with career priorities — not romance.
Sign #6 – You can’t visualize him as a date at your friend’s wedding next month — even if that means you have to go alone.
Sign #7 – His funniest story does not make you laugh.
Sign #8 – Your first kiss was a disappointment you can’t shake.
Sign #9 – You wore your sexiest undies to work on Wednesday — for no reason.
Sign #10 – When you tell your girlfriends about him, your voice lacks enthusiasm. You can’t conjure up anything exciting to share.
Of course, we’d love to hear from you . . .
What’s your #1 sign that you’re wasting your precious time with someone whose just not right for you?
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Photo via Flickr: Anna!
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I love this spin on dating because it doesn’t ask you, as a single mom, to be practical. It encourages us to get excited and be a little giddy. Thank you so much!
Twitter @ http://www.barthoughts.com
My favorite clue a person may be dating the wrong person is; “Can’y stand the sight of them”. This may seem obvious, but I’ve known women who would continue dating someone they didn’t even like because they thought they were better than nothing. Nothing would be much better for me in this case.
Twitter @ http://deleted
I wish my family would read this. They have been pressuring me and pushing me to date this guy who has been a family friend for a few years now. On paper this guy would be a catch for any woman. He is a single father to a little boy around the same age as my son. His child’s mother abandonmed the boy, and she actually has no parental rights anymore. He makes a decent living for himself, his very nice all around, and when ever you need a hand, you can always count on him to be there. Sound great right? But I just don’t feel anything for him, there is no type of chemistry or attraction to him even though he has me out several times, even to “just get the kids together.” Thinking of going on a date with him makes me think gee I just want to stay home and hang with jr and spend some mommy time with him. I just don’t feel anything for him. I can’t imagine myself kissing this man. Dating him would be a waste of mine and his time, and that’s just not fair to anyone, now only if my family could understand it and back off.
Twitter @ http://www.barthoughts.com
We claim there aren’t arranged marriages in this country, but there are. lots of nosey parents are constantly putting pressure on their grown kids to “tie the knot” with someone the kid cares nothing for. I’ve seen and heard a lot about this. There are several times in most people’s lives when they will need to stand up and say what’s on their mind. If they keep on you can just tell your family something like ” he’s not someone I see me having raw, uninhibited sex with”. Most times honesty turns out to be the best policy. Trying to make yourself fall for this guy will probably just lead to heart ache for you and the guy. Good luck standing up for yourself. I know it’s hard sometimes, but almost always worth it.
Twitter @ eatdrinkdivorce
LOL! Loved these tips. I would add… if you find yourself making excuses NOT to see him. Like Oh I have laundry to do Friday night. (and yes I have actually said this!)
I have long since learned to walk in truth. Now I don’t make excuses, I just tell the truth even if I know they feel otherwise and think that I might be the one for them.
When I find myself thinking I would rather snuggle with my kids…or even the dog than with a guy, it must be over. When it starts feeling less like fun and more like work. When an evening ALONE is more appealing than an evening with him, thats a sign. When a man lets me down…and I keep thinking about it, its time to go. I have so many signs that I am with the wrong man…its no wonder I am perpetually single. I seem to have a 2 date rule. Usually after the second date I know it just isnt right. If I cant see a man “fitting” with my little family of three, I move on. Why waste time?
Twitter @ singleguywkids
Finding this is happening more often than not. Since all my time is spent either on my kids or doing things for the kids when I don’t have them, I turned to the online dating thing. I have been on a few dates now and not a single spark.
I do feel like I am wasting my time. Great list! I think I hit just about every point except for the one about wearing my sexy panties.
Dating will get better at some point.
Twitter @ BigLittleWolf
I’ve been thinking about this one, off and on.
I could have saved a lot of time (and heartache) if I’d paid more attention to my kids’ gut responses.
Depending on their ages, sometimes they can sniff out a good one (or not so good one) better than we can!
Twitter @ http://nokomis-daughterofthemoon.blogspot.com/
I agree with Sassy QueenPin Mama! I was so happy to read these, signs that appeal to my heart not my sense. It was a breath of fresh air. I currently single but kept thinking about the last guy I was really into and honestly NONE of these applied. I was crazy for him. Too crazy. But that’s not the point. Here are the two that I had, well, a bit of a glitch w/
#5- I used to pick his brain about work because I found his work fascinating. I didn’t realize it could be such an insult. Truth is as soon as I’d see him I really wouldn’t want to talk about much at all- LOL. Maybe I was just using his work as a way to slow things down a bit.
#9- I think this is implying that you’re hoping to be sexy for somebody else but I have to say that when I’m really into someone is when I feel my MOST sexy so I’ll wear my sexy undies everyday, just thinking about him.
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Now, here’s one I have to add- though it is a little too practical— Keep watch to see if he does 1-10 w/you. If you don’t excite him but you’re crazy about him,… well… maybe you might want to reconsider?
Twitter @ withinpeace
A sign that the guy is a waste of time is when after your movie date, you think, wow, I just paid 40 bucks for that movie (i.e. the total cost of the babysitter)
Twitter @ Barblicious
I really only want to spend time with my child. On the ONE night I get to myself – it is a MONDAY night too so not a lot of options for that one – I usually just get things done that I don’t want to drag my kid along to do… example getting groceries.
I’ve been doing the online dating thing, as it is the only way I can “meet” someone, but typically I find it even hard to get interested in ‘wasting’ my time to meet in person for the first time. LOL! No one seems that interesting. And even after meeting them, there is no real desire there… You should get excited shouldn’t you – about wanting to meet up and spend time with someone? What is the point otherwise. I think I will call it quits again on this round of dating, because I just don’t find myself even thinking about the prospects!
Twitter @ singlemombooks
You’re wasting your time if you aren’t dating each other for the same reasons, your values don’t align, and the other person doesn’t think they won the lottery when they found you.
I think sometimes it’s because women cannot handle the thought of being a single parent and do not want to put in to the ‘single-mom’ category. I know a lot of single mothers that are doing just as well! Also I think it is the pressure that women are put under to meet someone! Love this blog!
You know your dating the wrong guy when they call you cupcake, pet, etc.
Love the article, very insightful, lighthearted, and easy to remember.